Dear Aerolineas Argentina…

Dear Aerolineas Argentina,

You let us down.

I’m writing to express my extreme disappointment that our ticket purchasing experience was so anticlimactic. You may think that we had unreasonably high expectations, but I think you’d have to admit that it was you that raised our expectations by leading us on so tantalizingly in the early stages of the process.

We began shopping for a ticket on your website with a few mild concerns based on having read poor reviews from other travellers, but we were willing to look past those reviews and give you a chance–especially since you were ~$200 cheaper than LAN for our flights to Iguazu. We found a schedule that worked for us and proceeded to make the reservation through your website. Up until then, we thought of you as just another airline and assumed that buying tickets from you would be just like so many other online tickets we’ve purchased before. That was when you first began to tease us…

It seemed strange that we received a confirmation page including seat assignments without ever having been asked to pay for the tickets. We did notice the small print near the bottom that said that we were required to pay within 24 hours and would receive instructions for how to do so in an email. This seemed odd, but we were willing to go with it. However, the email you sent us said this:

Aerolineas_Argentina_Payment_Email_Confirmation Image

Don't you want us to pay??

We weren’t so excited about calling you to ask how to pay, so instead we did some searching around your website and encountered several sets of instructions clearly indicating that we could and should pay online; however, there was nowhere on your website that actually allowed us to do so.

Aerolineas_Argentina_Payment_Instructions Image

These instructions are really thorough and helpful... though, if one were being picky, one could argue that if you are going to write detailed instructions, it may be better if the feature actually existed. Sorry if this is culturally insensitive.

Google, TripAdvisor and the local expat blog also seemed to be at a loss for how to proceed. This is when our expectations started to go up–it seemed clear that this was going to be far more exciting than just another ticket purchasing experience. We decided to wait until the next day and ask around at our school to see if any of the locals had encountered this before and were told that despite what your website says, foreigners are in fact required to pay by telephone. We were told that that this has something to do with security to minimize potential for chargebacks (see handy diagram below); but since that clearly doesn’t make any sense at all, my guess is that you just want to have the opportunity to speak live to those of us that are lucky enough to pay at least double your normal prices to thank us (for those of you keeping score at home, it is true that there is massively different price for locals vs. Foriegners)…

Credit Card Chargeback Diagram Image

I bolded the differences for anyone with the mistaken impression that these processes are similar

Before we called, we only expected to be on hold for awhile and then go through the annoying hassle of giving you all of our credit card info over the phone with a language barrier and nothing more (which obviously we were pretty excited about), but we had no idea what you had in store for us… I can’t convey to you in words how flattered and excited we were when you told us that because the flights were within 48 hours, we would not be able to pay for them over the phone either, but would instead need to go to one of your local offices and pay in person. It was a nice touch that you offered us the alternative of paying at the airport the day of the flights as long as we got there by 3pm (for a 7:45pm flight)–clearly an attractive option.

In fact, we were so excited that we called one of our local friends and asked if he would be willing to call you back with us on a conference call just to make sure that you weren’t giving us any unnecessary “special” treatment; after reconfirming with our friends help, we spent a few minutes basking in the joy of having the opportunity to meet you in person and then got ready to go. At this point, we had given up predicting what new twists and turns the story would take, but we had no doubts that you would have several more surprises in store for us, so we brought multiple forms of identification, a few different credit cards and a decent amount of cash just in case.

After having read about how frequently people get pick-pocketed in the subway, we were particularly excited to have our passports and other valuables with us for the lengthy ride to the end of the D line smack in the middle of rush hour. Being pressed up against the glass for the majority of the ride while trying to keep our belongings with us served to build the suspense higher and higher.

Crowded subway image

If Argentines were Asian, it might have looked like this

We were at a fever pitch when we arrived at your office and completely ready to experience Crazy Town, AR. BUT, this is where you let us down on several dimensions:

1) There was not even a line, we walked in and were waved directly over to an agent.

2) The agent immediately understood why we were there and was able to process the transaction in under 2 minutes. She then gave us a receipt that we were supposed to bring over to the cashier for payment, so our hopes went up again…

3) Only to be dashed by a <30 second conversation to make the payment with the cashier.

So, in less than 3 minutes we had paid for our tickets and were all set. There was no chaos, there was no demanding of 4+ forms of ID (or any ID at all ironically), there were no language barriers, no 2 hour waits, nothing. You built up these huge expectations for us and then just ruined it all by suddenly being efficient.

You can imagine our disappointment.  If for some reason you can not imagine our disappointment, please refer to the diagram below:

Excitement_Over_Time Image

Please contact me with any questions

Hopefully you can provide us with a more consistent experience next time.

Regretfully yours,

Ryan and Jen

P.S. After thinking through all of our experiences with you thus far, I think I may have figured out how you operate. While many businesses strive to meet or exceed customer expectations, from the 5 examples below, it seems that your customer strategy is simply to do the opposite of what customers expect in every situation. As a former strategy consultant, I for one applaud this boldly differentiated approach to making sure your customers never get bored with you.

Example 1: Trying to purchase ticket online

Our expectation: Just put in credit card info and make purchase

Aerolineas Argentina: State frequently on your site that it is possible to pay online, but instead make it impossible to pay online.

Example 2: Calling to purchase ticket

Our expectation: A mild hassle, but at least we can finalize the purchase

Aerolineas Argentina: Tell us that we have to go to the office to make the purchase

Example 3: Going to office to finalize purchase

Our expectation: A major hassle with low probability of success

Aerolineas Argentina: Super smooth and efficient process

Example 4: Rationale for making us go to the office in person within 48 hours of flight

Our expectation: Something to do with a higher degree of security?

Aerolineas Argentina: Did not check our ID or even look to see if our signature matched the credit card we used

Example: Onboard flight to Iguazu

Our expectation: We may be late, but we’ll get to Iguazu

Aerolineas Argentina: Instead, land in a different city (Posadas) and don’t tell us until we land

P.P.S After reviewing the schedule change email you sent us the day after our flight left, I am further convinced of the above

Aerolineas_Argentina_Schedule_Change_Notification Image

You can't make this up

How can you add your signature to a PDF for free (without printing and scanning)?

Another question that needed answering…

I was planning to finish up a post on our wonderful experience with Aerolineas Argentina this evening, but instead got to spend some quality time figuring out the answer to the above question (thanks IRS for taking 4 months to get back to me on my 2006 taxes!).  Anyway, those of you that hang out in offices all the time won’t have much need for this tip, but in the event that you ever do need to sign a PDF and email it back to someone while on the road, here is an excellent tutorial I came across via google (which references some great and easy to get free software):

How To Add Your Signature to PDFs For Free

My thanks to the original author!

Our first vacation from vacation: Iguazu Falls

Just got back from 3-days in Iguazu falls and didn’t want to pay the AR$60/day for internet access at our hotel, so apologies for the lack of posting lately.

Awesome trip!  Iguazu is truly spectacular.  We stayed in the Sheraton which is the only hotel in the park itself on the Argentina side and it was phenomenal.  Plus, we stayed there on Starwood points, so it was a very cheap trip (thanks consulting!).  We’ll write a more thorough review of the trip in the days to come, but in the mean time, here’s lots of pictures:  Iguazu Pictures Enjoy!

p.s., it’s pretty wild to return home from a vacation and not dread going back to our regular lives… all of you out there that are still consultants, take note!!

How to find a Spanish school in Buenos Aires (we love ours!)

One of the major reasons we wanted to come to Buenos Aires was to learn Spanish.  We didn’t realize at the time that Argentine Spanish is a bit, shall we say, special – they use “vos” instead of “tu” to mean “you”, and they pronounce everything with a lovely Italian-sounding accent (you may be familiar with the word “pollo” – pronounced “poyo” through most of the Spanish speaking world but “posho” in Argentina).  So, it’s not exactly your standard Spanish, but it’s lovely just the same and we were super excited to start studying.

After a few days settling in to Buenos Aires, we started our search for a Spanish school.  There are well over a dozen different schools here in Buenos Aires, most located in or near the center of the city.  The standard schedule is 20 hours a week, typically with classes running ~9am to 1pm-ish, and the schools usually have classes at various levels running each week.  Prices range from $150-200USD/week, and pretty much every school offers a small discount for paying for multiple weeks upfront.

We started our search by reading through posts on the various BA expat blogs and google searches.  We found a few schools to visit that were recommended and had decent prices – we wanted to check them out in person, and Ryan needed to take the placement test (pretty much every school has you take a placement test if you’ve ever studied Spanish so they can place you in the right class for your level – go figure).  We decided to visit IBL, expanish and Vamos Spanish.  Here’s our quick takeaway on each:

  • IBL: Located in a cool old building turned into a shopping arcade and office building on busy pedestrian Florida Street.  Let’s just say that we weren’t in the best mood after battling the crowds on the street to get to the building.  The school is located on an upper floor in the building with an enclosed patio area used for breaks and for a smoking area.  The staff (which seemed to be mostly locals) was friendly and said most classes had ~5 students.  Overall, the school was fine but didn’t particularly wow us, and we weren’t excited about the daily rush-hour subway commute to get there.  Cost: $175/week.
  • expanish: Definitely the busiest and most commercial of the schools we visited, expanish is a volume operation.  They have great marketing and a bustling space with a central “living room” area (they’re strangely proud of the countless pictures of students sleeping on their couches that are plastered all over the walls – we’re not sure exactly what’s up with that).  There were at least 15 students/prospective students hanging out in the common area while we were there.  The school offers the standard 20 hr/week class schedule and is also located downtown-ish, just off the massive 9 de Julio street.  We got the sense that this is the choice for backpackers and younger, single crowd looking to meet other independent travelers through classes. Cost: $160/week.
  • Vamos Spanish: We wanted to visit this school because it was pretty much the only one we found in Palermo, walking distance from where we were living.  The school occupies its own antique building, with a common room on the ground floor and classrooms upstairs.  It’s a smaller school than the others we visited, typically with 10-15 students in a given week.  The mostly-foreign support staff is very friendly, and we got a good vibe that the experience was a bit more personalized here than the other schools we visited.  Cost: $160/week.

We decided to go with Vamos (partly because we really liked the feel of it and partly due to location) and have loved our experience so far.  We’ve spent more than 80 hours each in class (we’re in the running for the title of longest-running students ever!) and have learned a ton over that period of time.  Class sizes are small – my classes have each been 1-4 students (including one week where no other students were at my level, so I got private one-on-ones with my teacher), and the curriculum is customized.  The teachers adapt the topics covered and the materials used based on the needs of the specific students in the class, unlike other schools that follow a fixed teaching plan (e.g., colors day 1, telling time day 2, etc.).  The school develops its own teaching materials, and we’ve found that the teachers are great at finding the right exercise to help with your confusion over este vs. esto vs. esta or correct use of direct object pronouns.  As you might guess from our backgrounds, we’ve both been through quite a few classes and educational programs at top schools, and we’re both very impressed with the teaching style and talent of our teachers at Vamos.

Outside of the classroom, Vamos puts a lot of effort into offering additional activities to its students.  These range from practical post-class “workshops” (e.g., how to recognize and prevent getting stuck with counterfeit bills, how to navigate the crazy BA bus system) to weekly “intercambio” language exchanges for practicing your blossoming Spanish with locals  to advice and assistance on booking tourist activities and trips.  One of the employees formerly led trips all over South America and is a great source of recommendations, and she’s more than happy to help you with as much of the booking/planning process as you want.  The school has a strong community vibe, and we really look forward to seeing the staff as well as the other students each morning when we arrive.

While we’re clearly very satisfied with our choice, there are plenty of good options in Buenos Aires.  Key things to think about when choosing your school:

  • Location: Morning rush hour sucks.  Especially if this is your vacation.  And especially if you haven’t been waking up to an alarm clock for a while – it’s a rough transition back to having a schedule.  Figure out how you’re going to get to and from the school and make sure you’re actually going to do it.
  • Volume of students: There are pros and cons here.  Fewer students generally means a more personalized experience.  It also means it might be harder to get a class together that’s at your level (becomes more of a problem as you get to more advanced levels).  We went with a smaller school, and it’s sometimes been a challenge for them to pair Ryan with compatible classmates.
  • General vibe: The schools vary a bit in terms of the type of environment and students they attract.  Some are definitely geared more toward backpackers or those who want a 1-2 week basics class, while others draw an older student group or people living in Buenos Aires for longer.  The vibe from the staff and the academic director are also good indicators of what a school is like, so pay attention to these.

All in, we think our 80/20 approach to finding a Spanish school was quite successful!  I went from not knowing how to introduce myself to telling stories in the past tense (which anybody who’s studied Spanish before knows is way more painful than it sounds), and still more to come.  Let the adventures in Spanish continue!!

Cost of living in Buenos Aires

So, we’ve been looking into planning a 3-day trip to Bariloche for next weekend, but after determining that it would cost ~$400 USD each for round trip plane tickets we decided it was time to sit down and figure out exactly how much we’ve been spending since we got here.  Before I continue, it should be noted that the locals here all swear by the long distance bus system–apparently you can get executive class which has seats that lay flat and in addition to personal entertainment systems/movies, they feed you and give you free champagne.  Now, that all sounds great, and it’s definitely a lot cheaper (more like $50/each), but I don’t care how “comfortable” it is, it’s still a 22 hour bus ride.  Each way.

First Class Bus Seats Argentina

Now that I see it, I totally want to spend 22 consecutive hours in a seat like that...

So, after much discussion, we’ve decided that we are not going to spend 44 hours on a bus for a 3 day trip.

Aeron Chair Image

We used to spent 15+ hours a day in these kind of seats and no one brought us free champagne 🙁

So, we dug into our spending over the last month or so and our budget can basically be broken down into 4 broad categories (this may be a breach of the terms of our rehab–we made pivot tables):

  • Rent:  $1200/month

  • Spanish School:  ~$1220/month for the 2 of us

  • Food/random cash expenses:  ~$1200/month or $40/day for the 2 of us

  • Tours/other excursions outside of day to day living expenses:  Variable

  • 1)  Rent:  $1200/month (USD)

    We are now paying $1200/month on our 3-month contract.  This is large 1 bedroom apartment with 1.5 bathrooms in a nice part of Recoleta and is at a well discounted daily rate vs. shorter term rentals (e.g., this apt. is listed at $100/day or $600/week) and includes all utilities + internet + weekly maid service.   Depending on what neighborhoods you are willing to consider and how nice of a place you want you can get cheaper than this (or much more expensive).  There seem to be “budget” apartments that range from ~$900-$1200/month for a 1 bedroom and are pretty hit or miss in terms of quality and “Luxury” apartments which are more like $1800+/month at a monthly rate and are significantly nicer.  We are somewhere in between.
    If you’re trying to figure out how to rent an apartment down here, be sure to check out our post on How to Rent an Apartment in Buenos Aires

    Currency issues: Apartments are pretty much always priced in USD and most want cash, so don’t expect to benefit from exchange rate changes as the prices are pegged to the USD.

    Bottom line: We’re paying $1200/month, if we wanted to go cheap, we could have probably found an acceptable place for $1000/month, but it would likely be significantly worse than what we have.  So I’d say that we are on the low end of what we could be paying.  If you are here for a shorter time period, I’d budget $300-600/week–much better than hotels, but definitely not free.

    Relative to San Francisco prices: ~33% of what we were paying in San Francisco, though hard to be apples to apples as that was a 12+ month lease and unfurnished.

    2)  Spanish School:  ~$1220/month for the 2 of us or $610 each   (USD)

    We are attending Vamos Spanish for 20 hour/week intensive classes (and loving it–review to come).  They charge US$150/week per person and it’s usually 1-4 people in your class which is pretty awesome.  We looked at several other schools as well and the range seems to be $150-$200/week for 20 hours at the smaller schools, or you can go to the university where it is significantly cheaper, but much larger classes.

    Currency issues: Spanish schools generally price in USD, but most allow credit cards or PayPal payments.  Just don’t expect to benefit from exchange rate changes as the prices are pegged to the USD.

    Bottom line: If you’re going to do intensive spanish classes, you should plan on spending at least $150/week.  Can definitely get more expensive if you throw in private lessons which are more like $20/hour on average.  That said, it’s definitely our favorite part of being here and well worth the expense to learn such a valuable life skill.

    3)  Food/random cash expenses: ~$1200/month or ~$40/day for the 2 of us. (USD)

    This is by far the most volatile expense category for every day expenses and for us is easily 95+% food.  We generally eat in a restaurant for 1 meal a day, sometimes 2 and the rest of the time either cook at home or eat left-overs.  After our  first couple of weeks of eating out all the time, more lately we’ve  been averaging about $40/day (~AR$ 150).  Here’s how it breaks down by meal:

    Breakfast: Argentines aren’t that into breakfast.  A typical Argentine breakfast, if they bother eating in the morning, is a coffee and a couple of Medialunas (basically a combination of a croissant and a donut).  This will cost you ~AR$10-20 (~US$2.50-5.00) depending on where you get it.  If you really want to splurge, you might get a Tarta (individual quiche) for ~AR$22 pesos, but that’s about the sum of your breakfast options.  We generally eat cereal at home.

    Lunch: Restaurant lunch prices can vary significantly and will typically run you anywhere from AR$30-50 (US$8-15) per person.  There are 3 primary options:

    • Basic: If you want to go cheap, you can often find a basic sandwich for ~AR$20-25 + a drink for ~AR$5-10 bringing you to a total of AR$25-35 (US$6-10).
    • Menu del Dia: If you aren’t in the mood for a sandwich, most restaurants offer a ‘menu del dia” in which they’ll offer 2-3 options which usually include an appetizer + an entree + a dessert + a drink + a coffee for AR$30-40 (US$8-12).  Very good deal assuming you like what they are offering.  Quick tip:  The “Menu del Dia” is always written on a sign outside the front door of the restaurant and rarely reprinted on the menu itself.  So be sure to memorize the options before you go in!
    • A’la Carte: Basically the standard dinner prices which vary by restaurant, but are often in the range of AR$30-60 per entree and AR$20-30/starter or salad.  Basic drinks (soda, water, etc.) are usually ~AR$8, a beer will typically run ~AR$15 and a glass of wine is more like AR$18 for a solid pour.  Quick tip: Always order wine by the bottle–very often, 2 glasses of wine cost more than the same bottle and they are always very happy to package up a bottle that you didn’t finish for you to take with you.

    Dinner: Basically dinner is the same as the A’la Carte option from lunch.  Assuming we don’t go somewhere super fancy, we’ll usually order a bottle of wine + one starter + 2 entrees and that will run us ~AR$120-140 for 2 or AR$60-70 each (US$16-18 per person)  If we go to a nice place we’ll spend considerably more, that said, even at the nicest places we’ve probably maxed out at ~AR$300 (US$80) for the 2 of us–this is very expensive here, but keep in mind the same dinner would likely cost closer to double or triple that in San Francisco.

    Alternative lunch/dinner: We have become huge fans of empanadas and usually have empanada night at least twice a week.  You can usually get great empanadas for ~AR$4 each and it would be difficult to eat more than 3-4 of them each, so this is a very cheap dinner.  We usually buy a dozen and then have them for 2 meals and there are empanada joints everywhere.  Also, you can do the same with pizza, though it’s slightly more expensive and doesn’t offer quite the same quantity of food per peso as empanadas do.

    Grocery stores: We aren’t in love with the grocery stores here.  You can definitely eat cheaper if you cook at home assuming you have a decent enough kitchen and cooking utensils.  That said, as a short-term renter, it’s unlikely that you’ll want to stock up on all of the spices and other cooking supplies that you’d want in order to make something you’d actually enjoy eating (spices are very expensive and hard to find here).  Most packaged/processed food at the grocery store is relatively expensive and fresher food seems cheaper (e.g., ~US$5/lb for rib-eye steak, grass fed of course).

    Wine: We drink a lot of wine.  Wine is WAY cheaper here than it is in the US.  Most stores have wine ranging from ~AR$8 up to ~AR$100 per bottle with the bulk of the offerings in the $AR20-30 range.  We are now hooked on a AR$13.50 bottle (~US$4)  which is quite good (and we are picky).  Also, it’s great to try good wine in restaurants as there is only about a 10-20% mark-up vs. the 3x US mark-up.  We save A LOT of money on wine here (though ironically drink less now that we are not consultants…)

    Bottom Line: US$20/person is probably a decent estimate for what you’ll spend on average for food/drink.  That said, for our first week or 2 we were probably double that, so if you’re here for a short trip you’ll likely spend more.  You could definitely spend less if you put some effort into it, but we are certainly not splurging at US$20.  Way cheaper than San Francisco, but it does add up.

    4)  Tours/other excursions outside of day to day living expenses:  Entirely up to you

    Most things that cater to tourists are expensive and priced in dollars, so proceed at your own risk.

    In summary

    It more expensive here than we had heard.  Many friends who had visited even just a few years back enjoyed much lower prices–apparently prices have been increasing from 20-30%/year for the last several years.  That said, it’s still a very cheap place to visit/live on a relative basis.

    Here’s our average daily expense summary (keep in mind this is for the 2 of us):
    Daily USD   (peso)
    Rent               40      (154)
    School            41      (157)
    Food/wine   39      (149)
    Misc                 ?        (?)
    Total               120   (460)

    Hope this is helpful.  Happy to answer any questions!


    Dear purse snatchers,

    Us: the couple sitting on the bench in the botanical garden reading our books and enjoying the beautiful day for a couple of hours.

    You: the band of 2 women and one guy that welcomed us to Buenos Aires by teaching us to be a little bit more careful with our belongings when in public spaces.

    We were a bit confused, but also flattered when you asked us for directions to Plaza Seranno in english despite obviously being locals.  Of course, we were more than happy to share our map with you while your friend snuck up behind our bench and grabbed Jen’s purse in order to show us how important it is to keep a close watch on our valuables.

    I’m writing to thank you for providing this valuable public service on behalf of the city of Buenos Aires–it was tremendously helpful to us and we have been much more careful since.  Some people might mistakenly think that you were actually trying to steal Jen’s purse for real (and to be honest, we wondered about it as well for awhile), but upon further inspection, there are several indicators which make it clear that you had no intention of actually making off with her purse:

    1. The park itself: Given that the Botanical Garden is surrounded by a tall fence, has few hiding spots and has only 2 exits which are staffed by guards, it would obviously be almost impossible to steal something from someone and make a get away unless you were EXTREMELY fast or very sneaky.
    2. Timing/location within park: Clearly,  if you had actually wanted to succeed you would have targeted your victims at night in the dark, or at least in a secluded part of the park, or at least somewhere where there weren’t other people nearby.  The fact that you went out of your way to choose us at our bench in broad daylight with multiple other benches full of people not only nearby (~10 feet), but also directly facing us is a pretty clear indicator of your intentions.
    3. Resource deployment: Your band of pretend-thieves/BsAs-tourist-safety-officers consisted of 2 young and athletic looking folks (a guy and a girl) and one very overweight woman (for the purpose of the story, we’ll call her Helga).  The fact that the 2 of you that looked as though you could run quite fast (we’ll call you Speedy and Smarty) were the two that tried to distract us from the purse by asking us directions while appointing Helga to grab it and take off “running” is probably the strongest indicator of your intentions.

    When the people sitting at the bench 10 feet away suddenly yelled “THIEF!!” and pointed at our bench as we were showing Speedy and Smarty our map, we were very confused, scared and quickly becoming angry as we turned to see Helga running off with Jen’s purse.   Of course, it quickly turned from fear/anger to pure confusion as we watched Helga waddle along at her top speed of 1.3 MPH away from us down the main path in the direction of several other passersby and away from any discernible exit or escape (given the tall fence and guards and all).  Given Helga’s impressive land speed, we actually had quite a bit of time to consider what our next move should be…

    As I turned around and saw Helga ambling off (which was almost hypnotic), my thought process was something like the following:

    “Hey!!”

    “What the…?”

    “I should chase her…”

    But then it occurred to me that this must have been a trick–I’m ashamed to admit that I briefly thought that maybe Helga was just a diversion since even in the heat of the moment it was clear that there was no possible way that she could successfully run off with anything; Speedy and Smarty, please accept my apologies for briefly thinking that you may have been deploying some sort of clever double fake-out plan–clearly that’s not something you’d be capable of (you being city safety officers and all).  My thoughts continued:

    “It’s got to be a trick, they want me to follow her…”

    “Yeah, that’s it, they want me to chase her down so they can take something else…”

    “Ha! I’m smarter than them, they won’t trick me”

    “Wow, she’s really slow”

    “Wait, what else could they want to take…?  We don’t have anything else with us.”

    “Wow, I’ve been standing here thinking about this for a long time now and I could still catch her in under 5 seconds…”

    “Maybe this is some sort of hidden camera video show…”

    My musings were abruptly halted as Helga–having completed her part of the plan in showing us that the purse was steal-able, and also making it obvious that she wasn’t really trying to steal it–simply put the purse on the ground a short distance away from the bench and kept on lumbering away (still at top speed).  Jen retrieved the purse and we had plenty of time to look through it to make sure everything was still there while keeping an eye on Helga and having confidence that we could still catch her if need be.  Speedy and Smarty were nowhere to be found at this point, but I can only assume that they had moved on to the next group of tourists they needed to welcome for the day.

    Thank you again for your help.  Simply reading about other people’s experience with pick-pockets and the like does not nearly have the same effect as having experienced this simulated theft that you performed for us.  Best of luck with your future demonstrations, please let us know if we can put in a good word with any of your supervisors–I’m sure they would be very interested to hear how effectively you are performing your duties.  I’ve included the below picture of me sitting on the bench just before the demonstration took place in case you don’t remember us:

    Purse Demonstration Diagram Image

    All the best,

    Ryan and Jen

    (this happened a few weeks ago, but I figured it was about time I wrote it up)

    Grilled cheese, please

    When I say grilled cheese, what comes to mind?  Maybe a gooey toasted sandwich on Wonder bread with melted Kraft singles . . . maybe a diner-style sandwich on a hearty country loaf with classic cheddar?  Ask for “grilled cheese” in Buenos Aires, and that’s exactly what you’ll get – a slab of grilled Provolone cheese locally called a “Provoleta”.    Yum.

    Grilled cheese (aka Provoleta) imageWe had heard about this enticing inclusion on the Argentina parrilla menu, otherwise dominated by beef, beef and more beef (and the token chicken or pork option).  Can we really order a massive piece of cheese that’s been sliced thick and thrown on the grill?  Seems so decadent and outrageous, but we figured that if we could quit our jobs, get married and move to the other hemisphere all in a matter of weeks, we should be able to handle this.  And turns out, we did just fine – a nice crust on the bottom and ooey gooey bubbling goodness on top – yum!  We’re not saying we’re going to order this as our main dish anytime soon . . . but on the other hand, we’re not saying we won’t either.

    Questions that need answering: Why do the buses whistle?

    Seriously, they whistle.

    Not only are there literally thousands of them (we have seen 10+ on the same block at the same time);  not only do they aim directly for you whenever possible; not only do they emit disgusting exhaust fumes, not only are their engines extremely loud; but on top of all that, some ass clown thought it would be a good idea to make them whistle at you.  All the time.  Day and Night.  Loudly.  Why???  I want to know WHY.

    Buenos Aires Bus Image

    Every one is a different color, but they all whistle the same. By which I mean annoyingly.

    Google turned up the following result which provides a very good overview of the bus situation:

    “Concerning Argentine Buses (or: Why I love it here)”

    I’m going to digress for a moment to explain how the buses work here. First, you have your “Guia T.” This is a two part booklet, the first part being a map of Buenos Aires that is divided into grids. Opposite of the grids are corresponding boxes that contain a list of every bus that passes through that

    grid of the city. These maps, however, do not tell you where these buses stop in the grid, just that they do. You then use your Guia T to look for a bus that passes through the part of the city you’re currently in and through where you’re going. Then you search the physical 4 block by 4 block square that is that grid in order to find the elusive bus stop. The signs are small and the buses will really stop anywhere. For most “portenos” (Buenos Aires residents, or “people of the port”) this is do-able. (?!?!?) If you, poor soul, need more help the second part of the Guia T includes a list of each bus’s main neighborhood stops with a drawing of the bus, which is necessary because all the buses are painted different bright colors to distinguish them.
    So, to recap: hidden bus stops, unclear routes, confusing maps and buses that look like they belong on carousels. And if the driver tells you “Arriba” while you’re getting on you better get the hell on because that roughly translates to “I’m shutting the door now and driving wildly into traffic whether you are standing there or not” in Castellano. (Castellano being the Buenos Aires specific brand of Spanish).

    Note: These buses whistle. No, not like a train whistle. A human whistle. These buses, should you look lost at a street corner anywhere in Buenos Aires, will good ol’ fashion greasy-construction-worker-at-a pretty-lady whistle at you to let you know, “Hey, baby, I know where you could be going. With me.”

    I think that sums things up fairly well.  You may think I’m kidding about this, but I would never kid about whistling buses.

    Whistle Image

    I can hear one outside my window now. Why.

    Can anyone explain this phenomenon?  If so, please do so in the comments!