CPTJMIY: Dave Kovac on Volunteer Vacations, Global Village, and finding balance (Part 1)

We are tired. It’s hard [expletive removed] work trying to inspire all of you people out there to get out and create the life you’ve always wanted rather than the one you think you are supposed to have. We recognize that many of you read this and think, “Wow, that’s really great for them that they are out there having so much fun with no concern for the consequences,” shortly followed by, “That said, they are crazy.” Since we are outnumbered (seriously, there are more of you everyday!), we’ve decided to enlist the help of some other crazy people to help make our point.

As part of our very well thought out and documented blogging strategy (which often involves cocktail napkins and pisco sours), we are officially announcing our new feature “Crazy People That Just Might Inspire You,” or simply CPTJMIY–we even made a fancy logo for it (see above), that’s how serious we are. In CPTJMIY, we will periodically highlight crazy people that have found ways to combine their passions with their daily lives rather than put the pursuit of their passions off until “someday”.

Our first Crazy Person is Dave Kovac

Romania Habitat Global Village trip 2006 Dave Kovac image

See what I mean by crazy? 🙂

First, a little background on Dave

Dave holds a special place in both of our hearts. Actually, in a very weird coincidence, he was perhaps the first indirect connection between Jen and me and certainly a major catalyst for us having so much to talk about when we first met.

During the summer of 2006 just after I graduated from business school, I had the opportunity to go on a Habitat For Humanity International/Global Village program through the consulting firm that I would soon be working for (they were offering to sponsor this as a sort of sign-on bonus, which was fantastic). I chose a 2-week trip to help build houses in Cluj, Romania–the heart of Transylvania. I had never done anything like this before; it was an amazing experience. Working alongside locals and knowing that you are helping to make a difference for them is so much better than being a tourist–not only do you feel good about helping, but it’s also relatively inexpensive, you do and see things that you’d never be able to experience as a tourist and you get to hang out with a group of pretty awesome fellow volunteers. Why am I telling you this? Dave Kovac was the leader of that trip.

Romania Habitat Global Village Trip 2006 build site image

This is from our work site in Romania. We worked hard...

Not only was Dave the leader of my trip in 2006, but he’s been leading trips like this all over the world for years… including the same trip in 2007 at the exact same worksite in Romania that my now-wife Jen went on (you know what they say–a couple that builds the same house together, in Romania, a year apart, with the same trip leader, stays together). So, Dave knew us before we knew us. In an indirect way, he may be responsible for us (which he has mentioned makes him feel a little bit dirty).

Romania Habitat Global Village Trip 2006, Monastery image

... we also played hard. We spent several days exploring the country side with the awesome local staff as our guides. This photo is from a functioning monastery that we spent the night at. It was awesome.

I’ll let Dave tell the rest of his story himself, but one other thing I want to mention… Leading these trips is NOT Dave’s job. Dave does other things for employment and income purposes, but he still makes the time to lead a couple of these trips a year. He is a great example of someone that has found a way to balance passions and responsibilities in a way that perhaps gives him the best of all worlds. Don’t believe me? Let’s ask him:

Note:  We’ve split the interview into 2 parts.  Part 1, below, focuses mostly on Dave’s involvement with the Habitat for Humanity Global Village program and the kind of amazing experiences you can get from this form of “volunteer vacation.”  This is cool stuff and I highly recommend you look into it if you’re looking to do something a little different and extremely rewarding for your next 2 week vacation.

Part 2 of the interview will launch later in the week and will focus more on Dave himself and how he was able to set up his life and career in a way that allows him to spend ~1 month every year somewhere in the world leading trips like this.  Very cool stuff.

Dave Kovac – The interview

Dave, how does it feel to be the very first ‘Crazy Person’ featured on Consulting Rehab?

Kind of a weird combination of honored, overjoyed, humbled, and confused. But I’m ready. Bring it.

So let’s talk a little about these Habitat trips you lead…

So, give us the overview–how/when/why did you get into leading these Habitat Global Village trips?

Habitat for Humanity is a great organization. I think a lot of people know that. The Global Village program is Habitat’s international trip program that has really led the way in what has become the volunteer vacation movement. My initial involvement was accidental and during a time in my life when I was in transition — I had been a university administrator and teacher for quite some time and I needed to stop-out of that for the good of our growing family. So when I was in the room when someone received a phone call asking them if they’d be interested in going on a Habitat trip to Kenya, the person who received the call said “No, I don’t think so, but Dave might want to…” And I did.

I had a great experience on that first trip. But it was a little tough. It was in the year 2000 and we would be building the 1,000th Habitat home in Kenya. We didn’t really know that going in, but it became a big deal — dubbed “the Millennium Build.” That put a lot of pressure on our team leader who had to meet with dignitaries, resolve conflicts and disputes arising from villages and communities either vying for our attention or backing-out of previous arrangements, and generally feeling like all of our moves were under some microscope. While being pulled in so many different directions, our team leader asked me to help pay attention to the team and dynamics. All 13 of us were sleeping on a concrete floor under mosquito nets in a 12×13 room, there was no running water, at night we were at the mercy of periodic scheduled and unscheduled rolling blackouts, and during the day we might not even see each other as the team was divided into small groups of 2 or 3 and sent to different work sites (some as far as 90 minutes away) so that different communities could share in the honor of being part of the Millennium Build. I think there ended-up being 6 or 7 Millenium Houses. Separated, in tough conditions, and not knowing what was happening next, people got a little cranky. At the same time, we were all having a fantastic experience — we just need a little time to process it and share in this amazing thing that was happening. So I became the fun guy. It was great! I’d lead massive games of Simon Sez with 30 or 40 village kids each night; we set-up a soccer field in our encampment for evening games; we rented bicycles from the local bike-taxi drivers so we could take an afternoon off to tour the area… We became more engaged in the community. And as we became more engaged in the community we became more committed to the work and began relating to each other better. And I started thinking, “Wow! This happened within days! If I could bottle this up and take it home, think of how enjoyable and productive this could be to our communities, our businesses, and our corporations.”

During the later part of the build, as things were going better and our team really hit our stride, someone suggested I do this sort of thing on a regular basis – that I should lead trips. I was open to the idea but I was hesitant — there wasn’t any money in it and I was a little skeptical about jumping into an organization that I didn’t know too much about. I decided that I’d visit the Habitat headquarters in Americus, Georgia so I could meet some of the people I might be working with and to see if I could honestly support the work they were doing and how they were doing it. Habitat was great. They let me know of a training weekend in Americus, provided me with a place to stay in town — all I had to do was come up with airfare and book a flight. I’m glad I did. I discovered that like anything else, different people have different motivations for being involved in this kind of effort. And that’s OK. I may not be able to recite the spiritual rationale for Habitat’s work, but I can support the outcome. Doing something good is more important than saying something good, and Habitat’s Global Village program is all about doing something good. Once I learned how I could support the effort, it was easy to say “yes.”

How many trips to you lead per year? How long are they?

I average 2 trips a year. Some years I’ll do one, some years I might lead four. Most trips last a little over two weeks — about 17 days when you count travel time, which, for some destinations, can take 4 straight days of travel just to get there. There are a few week-long adventures to locations that are a bit closer to home and don’t take quite as much energy getting to the site. While the trips themselves might last a few weeks, the planning and developing of each trip can take as long as 10 months. And that, for me, is part of what holds my interest — it’s a thread that I use to weave together other facets of my life: the planning, and being intentional about what we try to do helps hold things together for me.

Where have you done trips? Any favorites?

I’ve been to a number of pretty cool spots in Kenya, Mexico, Tanzania, Portugal, Alaska, South Africa, Macedonia, Kyrgyzstan…and then there were the trips to Transylvania (Romania) with you and Jen. I ended up going back to Romania 9 times, I think. As for favorites, I get asked that a lot and end up answering pretty much the same way…it’s hard for me to pick out a single favorite. Each experience has been a little different — a different mix of people, of cultures, of scenery, of work, of conditions — and that mix has made each trip distinctive and special. Those moments kind of meld together into one great uber-memory for me. I have these pictures in my head of driving a bota-bota (bicycle taxi) through a little town in western Kenya while people poured out of their houses to point and laugh; of Habitat families, laborers, and our crew dancing around a tamale truck in Mexico celebrating someone’s birthday; retracing Nelson Mandela’s 11k to Freedom on the 10th anniversary of his release; a soccer match in Portugal in a stadium carved out of an old quarry; peeking outside of a yurt in Kyrgyzstan at the most amazing stars I had ever seen. All of those things are great, but I think what gets me every time is the sincere thanks that I receive from people who truly and sincerely appreciate what little I have done to help them get on with their lives. Most people I’ve come to know as recipients of a Habitat home are terrific, hardworking, wonderful people who have simply become stuck in an unenviable situation. And this little boost helps unstick them. What’s really cool for me is returning to a site that I’ve been to previously and seeing that that little boost really did help. And what’s super-cool is that for those builds I’ve been involved with overseas, there’s a 100% success rate. 1-0-0 PERCENT! Who can say that? Most of us contribute to things/people/causes as an act of faith — we hope that our contributions make a difference. I KNOW my contributions — and the contributions our teams have made — make a difference. And I am reminded of that every time I lead a Global Village trip.

How many and what kind of people go on these trips? (e.g., age, attitude, motivation for going, where they are from, etc.)

Teams can range in size from 8-24. A lot depends on the conditions at the local affiliate where there might be some restrictions on how many people can be transported to and from the worksite, what accommodations are available, how much room is at the project site, etc. Team members can be from anywhere in the world (most are from the US) and there’s an application process that’s facilitated through Habitat’s online web site. Applicants can be specific about when and where they’d like to be considered or they can be fairly general about it. The GV program tries to match potential participants with trips based on availability and interest, then it’s a matter of working with the team leader to make sure there’s a good match with each others’ expectations.

As for motivations of participants, I think that’s all over the map. Someone shared with me a profile of Global Village participants as having certain characteristics, but I haven’t found that profile to fit my teams. I think once you start looking for or targeting certain “types” of people you lose one of the special characteristics of a team which is its diversity. Different people with different motivations having different skills equals a great build experience.

Romania Global Village Trip 2006 image

Here's some of the group that I went to Romania with in 2006 - age range spanned ~50 years from youngest to oldest and people were from all over (Our fearless leader, Dave, is the top left)

Can just anyone go (do you need specific skills, background, etc.)?

Just about anyone can join a Global Village team. No construction skills are required — a little flexibility, willingness to learn, a helpful mindset, humor, and a sense of adventure go a long way, though.

What do you think people get out of these trips?

For a lot of people I think that there’s an unexpected sense of appreciation and purpose that comes if they just let it happen. People looking for something specific often don’t find it, or are so intent on finding that one ingredient they miss out on everything else. Not having an agenda actually helps as the experience unfolds. I know, it sounds very karmic. I find, though, that many of us are in jobs and commitments and relationships and activities that don’t seem to have tangible outcomes. We even get judged on those intangibles. What a building a house brings is a tangible set of measures — instant feedback. Combine that sense of accomplishment (even when it’s frustratingly produced) with a continual bombardment of appreciation and thanks, and think of the high that can produce. It’s pure positive feedback — even when it involves digging a hole (which I’ve done on several continents).

Any other marriages resulting from your trips?

Yeah, a few. But I have to warn you, there have also been a few breakups. I had nothing to do with either. Honest.

What do you get out of leading these trips/why do you keep doing it? Any favorite memories?

Besides that high of appreciation and accomplishment, I think what really keeps me involved is how this activity has provided a common thread of purpose through the various fragments of my life. I’m able to relate the experiences of these trips to my other commitments and responsibilities, which often feels fragmented and disconnected. My involvement in Global Village brings continuity to who I am.

Stay tuned for part 2 of this interview later this week to hear more about how Dave manages to balance these trips against family, career, life, etc…

Update: Part 2 is now available here

Management book chapter 2: Perfectionists should kick themselves in the head (perfectly)

Last week we discussed the merits of building career option-value and warned about Brick Wall Syndrome (BWS) and the tyranny of the evil mongeese.  This week, we’ll tackle the advantages of being a perfectionist and make the argument that if you are a perfectionist you should try to kick yourself in the head (as perfectly as possible).

Like last week, this will not apply to everyone.  The truth is, this one barely even makes sense, is WAY too long and is almost certainly 100% inaccurate.  If you do somehow force yourself to read it all the way through though, I hope you can agree with me that, at the very least, some of the pictures are pretty entertaining…

Why

It’s not easy to kick yourself in the head at all, let alone perfectly.  It will require a significant amount of practice to get it just right.  You may be wondering why I’m suggesting this.  It’s mainly because perfectionism makes me cranky, but I’m happy to come up with some other reasons if my crankiness alone is not enough for you (that said, we will likely both end up regretting this).

The basic argument is that kicking yourself in the head provides all of the same compelling benefits as trying to be perfect (e.g., almost impossible to achieve, hurts a lot, not worthwhile, etc.) while at the same time being infinitely more entertaining for others to watch.

Kick yourself in the head image

See? Entertaining, right?

You might be thinking “This is preposterous, I don’t even know why I’m reading it”

Imagine how I feel–I’m the one writing it.  The worst part is it’s just getting started.

If you’ve read the last chapter about career option value, then you already know about Brick Wall Syndrome (BWS) and how it instills in you a drive to manage your career/life by continually seeking out the paths of greatest resistance and pushing yourself as hard as possible to break through all of the brick walls you can find in order to build option value (even though you don’t necessarily have any interest in these options).  You’ll also know that if you suffer from BWS, any career choice that looks enjoyable and/or like something that you could really excel at without any pain or suffering will automatically be classified as an utter waste of time by the evil mongeese who are in charge of your life decisions.  This much should be fairly obvious.  This chapter isn’t about BWS though, it’s about another disorder–perfectionism.

Overview of disorder

At this point, I should clarify that I’m not talking about the benign and mild form of perfectionism in which people take pride in their work and have high quality standards.  That’s a positive thing.   I’m talking about the more extreme version that keeps people up all night obsessing over things that even they admit are a waste of time.  This is the version that inevitably leads to a constant sense of failure and ensures that no matter how much effort you put into something, you always feel like you should have done more . . . and that someone else would have.

Perfectionism isn’t about building option-value by choosing difficult paths.  Unlike BWS, perfectionism isn’t concerned with what specifically you choose to do; whatever you choose, this disorder’s primary focus is in making you obsess over doing things as perfectly as humanly possible–regardless of how long it takes, what other important things are going on in your life or if anyone else cares.  This could lead you to do any number of things, e.g.:

  • Stay up all night making sure that every PowerPoint slide in a large presentation has a perfectly matching color scheme (note: it’s not about consistency–consistency is merely good enough; the perfectionist will likely have painstakingly tried several different schemes to see what looked best)
  • Spend 5 days of intense effort to do what should have only taken 1 day (it’s not that you’re slow, you simply weren’t satisfied until it was 5x better than what anyone could have done in 1 day)
  • Spend all day trying to come up with a perfect third bullet point here to tie this all together in a comical way (if you are a perfectionist and have suggestions, please leave them in the comments)

Perfectionism and BWS are not the same thing.  It’s true that they often come together in a tightly-strung, type-A, fun-to-be-around package, but they are not the same thing.  Individually they are bad; together, they are worse.  You don’t have to believe me about this; here is the proof:

Perfectionist 2 by 2 - simple image

Note: if this 2 by 2 doesn't constitute definitive proof to you, you may not have what it takes to be a management consultant

Self-Diagnosis

Diagnosing yourself to be a perfectionist is usually not difficult.  Most perfectionists are fully aware of their disorder and often secretly (or openly) proud of it.  It is even easier to diagnose it in someone other than yourself merely by observing their daily activities.

Here are some signs that may indicate you have this disorder:

  • You frequently work significantly longer hours than others that have your same job and do not understand how it is that they can manage to go home so early and not be more stressed-out all the time.
  • When you point out how proud you are of having gone above and beyond to make sure that all fonts/colors/icons/etc. are perfectly coordinated and aligned to the nearest millimeter (you measured), rather than receiving applause, people just look at you and shake their heads.  This seems strange to you.  Your conclusion from this is that you will have to try harder next time.
  • When other people actually do compliment you on your work, you think they are patronizing you–you know that you should have done more, and if they think that you were good enough, then they really have no idea what they are talking about and should be avoided.

If any of the above symptoms are present, you may be a perfectionist and should continue reading for root causes and home treatment options.

Root causes

If you are an obsessive perfectionist, whether or not you realize it, and whether or not you are proud of it, what you are really suffering from is almost certainly varying degrees of the following two root causes:

1)  You are afraid that someone else will judge you to be not good enough

2)  You suck at managing competing priorities

Or, if you are confused (which can happen if you’ve been up all night perfecting something), you may be afraid of competing judges not managing someone else’s priorities well enough.  If this is the case, see your doctor immediately.

If you are a perfectionist, you are in for a rough time.  Whereas the person suffering from BWS is off prioritizing things based on degree of difficulty and perceived rewards, the pattern behind your decision processes is distinct.  Due to root cause #1, your main concern is avoiding someone else thinking that you are not good enough.  This is extremely stressful and requires constant vigilance.  You always have to be on guard.  No matter how small the task is that you’re doing, you have no choice but to go above and beyond and make it perfect–regardless of how long it takes (you really hate deadlines).  Having to be perfect all the time is a lot of pressure.

This type of extreme perfectionism is primarily about downside protection.  You are far more concerned about the downsides of being imperfect than you are motivated by the upsides that might come from doing a good job; unlike someone suffering from BWS, it doesn’t matter to you whether or not what you are working so hard on will lead to any rewards (real or perceived), it just matters that no one finds any errors in anything you do.

There are side-effects.  This fixation on downside protection can, at times, make you fear taking risks and prevent you from attempting things that are unconventional or creative (even if you have a spectacular idea: e.g., starting a monster truck rental business).  You tend to avoid things that don’t have an established set of criteria for perfection because you know that they are far more likely to result in criticism and failure (though, I think we can all agree that a monster truck rental business would clearly succeed).  You may have less fun and work harder than others, but at least you won’t risk being a disappointment.

Who is this person that you are so concerned about letting down?  To you, this is an irrelevant question–it does not matter who they are, whether or not you have any respect for what they think or if they even exist.  Because it doesn’t matter who they are, we’ll call them Mildred.

Perfectionist Mildred single image

If you’re a perfectionist, your priorities are determined by Mildred.  One might say that you are Mildred-centric.  You are so concerned about letting down Mildred that you will consistently assign exclusive priority to whatever things you think are important to her (even if you are just guessing).  In fact, you will often obsess over them so much that you will lose sight of other things that a more rational version of you may suggest are more important (e.g., happiness, loved ones, eating tacos)–this is root cause #2:  sucking at managing competing priorities.

Mildred is not the (only) bitch in this scenario

You may be surprised to hear this, but it’s almost certain that Mildred…:

a)  Couldn’t care less and doesn’t even know your name (or is some minor character from your past who doesn’t remember you – e.g., your 6th grade English teacher)

or

b)  Is in fact a bitch, and realizes how easy it is to manipulate you into doing whatever she wants through pointing out your weaknesses

or

c)  Thinks that you actually are good enough  – uh oh!  Time to find a new Mildred

How you choose your Mildred

Despite your debilitating ailment, you likely still have some people in your life that care about you.  These people probably not only think that you are good enough; they may even think that you are great.  This automatically disqualifies them from being your Mildred.  You have to look for a Mildred that exhibits either A or B from above in order to be sure that you will generate enough anxiety to perpetuate your disorder.

A fun side effect of this is that the people in your life that care about you (and who are likely also the same people that you yourself care the most about) are unable to help you.  Due to the very fact that they think that you don’t suck, you will constantly discard any positive things that they ever say to you and instead make it clear to them that Mildred’s opinion is more important to you.  This is awesome for them.  Fear not, in time these people will go away and you will be completely undistracted and able to focus all of your attention on pleasing Mildred.

Remember, the goal of this disorder is for Mildred to be your taskmaster, and that wouldn’t work very well if you picked a Mildred that was supportive of you.  This is why this form of extreme perfectionism is scientifically referred to as BMBD, or Being Mildred’s Bitch Disorder.

It gets worse

If you have BMBD and you have BWS (which often happens due to a failure to vaccinate for these things in infancy), you are really in trouble.

Perfectionist plus option value equals screwed image

With BMBD alone, your obsessions are more random and tend to fluctuate.  Mildred on her own may make you strive to throw the perfect birthday party for your 3-year-old one day, followed by obsessing over the formatting in your monthly report (and not even getting home from the office until after your 3-year-old has gone to bed) the next.  It doesn’t really matter what you are doing; her main concern is that you are always perfecting.  You may end up sacrificing other things that are important to you while in your Mildred-induced perfectionistic frenzies, but at least there’s a chance that you’ll have devoted some of your energies to things that actually do matter to you.

As proven earlier, it’s much worse if you also have BWS.  If you have both, your Mildred instead will be collaborating with the other mongeese to ensure that all of your energies go into attempting to be perfect at things that are extremely difficult and that you are simply not good at.  They will pick virtually impossible tasks specifically targeted to your weaknesses (because that’s where the biggest challenges and brick walls are–as mentioned, BWS sucks) and she will make you feel bad about yourself for failing to do them perfectly on your first try.

Mongeese with Mildred image

Focusing all of your energies on trying to be perfect at virtually impossible things which you are in fact not good at is no fun.  It’s certainly not as fun as competing in a taco eating contest (the great thing about a taco eating contest is that everyone wins).

taco image

You know you want it

Home treatment options for BMBD

Unfortunately BMBD is not curable–as you may have suspected, you will always be Mildred’s bitch.  However, there are some things that you can do to alleviate the majority of your symptoms.  Similar to BWS, embracing failure is extremely helpful in fighting BMBD–if you let Mildred down enough times, she’ll stop caring so much.

If you aren’t ready to embrace failure, try the following:

Step 1: Admit you have a problem

Like so many things, the most important first step is admitting that you have a problem.  BMBD is not just a harmless personality quirk; at its extremities, it holds you back, pushes people away and prevents you from having the life that you want.  Upon accepting that this is a real problem, you might be tempted to lash out at Mildred…  Don’t – it’s not her fault.

Step 2: Admit that you are the problem

The second step is realizing that Mildred isn’t the problem; you are.  It’s true – you can ask anyone that knows you well and they will tell you.

Now that you are horribly depressed, it is time to move on to step #3.  If you are not yet horribly depressed, you didn’t do steps 1 and 2 well enough–please repeat until you have perfected them.

Step 3:  Perform some Mildred Judo

This step requires some introspection.  If you have BMBD, it means that you suck at managing competing priorities and will let everything else slide in order to cater to the ever-changing whims of your Mildred.  If you can improve on balancing priorities using a little Mildred Judo, you won’t have to worry about what your Mildred thinks.  On the contrary, it is your Mildred that will have cause to worry.

The trick is to make your disorder work for you rather than against you.  What you need to do is to pick a new Mildred that has a more macro view of your life… Maybe pick your future self as your new Mildred.  Pick a high-level Mildred that is judging you based on how well you live your life across ALL dimensions rather than a small-minded Mildred that gets caught up on minor details and loses sight of everything else.  This new Uber-Mildred will have no trouble beating up your current Mini-Mildred and setting a very different tone for what remains of your lifetime of servitude.

Uber-Mildred perfectionist image

Note:  If the number of Mildreds mentioned in the preceding paragraph is confusing, just try to remember:  Uber-Mildred = good, Mini-Mildred=bad, millions of milling Mildreds mysteriously melting = hard to say.  Better?

Pleasing your new Uber-Mildred will require a whole new and much healthier mindset.  For instance, Uber-Mildred will be very unhappy with you if you work late and blow off spending time with your spouse.  That said, Uber-Mildred will also be unhappy if you do sloppy work and get fired.  What’s important to understand is that Uber-Mildred doesn’t require perfection in any one thing in particular, but rather requires that you devote your obsessiveness to trying to be perfect at balancing all of your competing priorities in a way that optimizes your happiness.

With her in charge, it’s not about having the perfectly formated report, it’s about having the best overall life (within which the formatting of your report is merely one of many other dimensions and should be prioritized accordingly).  Indeed, pleasing Uber-Mildred is all about getting comfortable with the idea of making sure that you are ‘good-enough’ across all dimensions before you are allowed to expend energy to go for better/great/fantastic/boy-howdy in any one category.  This isn’t easy.  Uber-Mildred is a harsh mistress and pleasing her will require making trade-offs (especially in any areas that mini-Mildred was particularly obsessed), but pleasing her will ultimately please you.  Isn’t that pleasant?

Step 4: Try to kick yourself in the back of the head

I suppose this step is optional, but, as mentioned previously, very entertaining for your friends and family and, depending on how extreme your BMBD symptoms have been, the least you could do is provide a little entertainment to thank them for putting up with you.  In fact, if you make it to step 4, please upload a YouTube video and link to it in the comments section below.

YouTube Video image

I'm not kidding

Note: If you are also suffering from BWS, the above steps will still help you somewhat, but in addition, you will need to seek out  and embrace failure (as discussed last week).  A good way to make failure a part of your daily life is to travel.  Immersion in a foreign culture will almost certainly make you feel like a failure several times a day.  Not only will you stop looking for brick walls, you will likely have moments where you are eager to eat Top Ramen for dinner because it means that you don’t have to deal with looking like an idiot with your poor language skills in a restaurant and potentially ordering something that has calf brains in it because you didn’t recognize just one little word in the list of 10 ingredients and assumed it must be something benign like parsley.  Not that I have any experience with this.

Disclaimer:  The author makes no claim whatsoever to have figured anything important out or to have anything worthwhile to say about this or any other topic.  He writes things like this merely for entertainment purposes–mostly his own. You should definitely not construe this as advice or take action based on it–you could end up unemployed in Chile.


Quitter to Winner interview part 2: This time hear from Jen

Our friends over at Quitter to Winner just put up a part 2 interview about us featuring Jen.  You should definitely check it out to read Jen’s thoughts on our future (I know I found it intriguing…):  Quitter to Winner interview with Jen

If you missed the original interview, you should check that out too:  Original Quitter to Winner interview with Ryan

If you don’t know what Quitter to Winner is, it’s an interview based site offering  “A resource for those quitting their job for a career break, sabbatical, entrepreneurial venture or new gig.”  There are lots of interviews on it of very interesting people doing some unconventionally cool things with their lives.  Try it, it’s neat.

We got featured on BudgetYourTrip.com

BudgetYourTrip.com is a very cool site.  They would be cool even if they didn’t post an interview of us.  That said, they did post an interview of us and you should check it out.

If you aren’t familiar with the new site Budget Your Trip, there are at least three reasons why you should be:

  1. It offers great resources to help you budget any upcoming trip you might have ranging from categorized cost benchmarks to planning tools
  2. The people behind it are very cool corporate America run-aways that have created a new life for themselves allowing them to pursue their passions
  3. They featured us in an interview on their site!  You should check it out:  Consulting Rehab feature on Budget Your Trip

Seriously, their site can really help simplify the planning for your next trip.  Check it out.  Tell your friends.

Enjoy!

If I were to write a management book about career “option value” . . .

I know a lot of people that are working very, very hard in jobs that they don’t have any particular passion for (and in many cases dislike quite a bit) in order to have greater “option value.” I was one of them; I spent the majority of the last 10 years building option value.

As we come closer to the time we originally thought we’d end this Career Break, I’ve started to think about the future and my career again. I’ve started to think about “option value” – how much I’ve accumulated and what I should do with it. If I were to write a management book about option value it would look something like the following.

It will not apply to everyone.

Sometimes “option value” is about building a great resume…

It starts young. You don’t even know it’s happening. All you know is that you have to work very hard in high school to get into the right university. You don’t question it, you just know it’s what you’re supposed to do. Everyone knows it–and those that disagree just have wrong-minded priorities (e.g., fun). You know better.

Once in college, you have to make sure you choose the right major, get the right grades, do the right internships and demonstrate the right leadership qualities in order to get the right job after graduation. If you are in pursuit of option value, determining which job is the “right” one involves very little reflection upon what you enjoy doing or what makes you happy; instead, it requires seeking out the jobs that are hardest to get, the hardest to do and the most likely to consume the vast majority of your waking hours. This is obvious.

Duh image

Of course, this job is just the first such job; the whole reason you worked so hard to get it is so that you would be qualified for the next job. That’s the “option value.” There is always a next job/accomplishment/promotion/whatever–otherwise, why would you be working so hard at the current job which you barely even like? If you weren’t doing it in order to get the next job, it would be a little crazy, wouldn’t it?

Each new job will likely be harder than the last. If you’re focused on pursuing “option value,” you will likely inadvertently have become convinced that any job that would be hard and/or painful is automatically worthwhile and important; also, you’ll likely believe that any job that looks easy and/or fun is almost certainly frivolous and a waste of time. Obviously, this makes sense, even though it is sometimes hard to explain to others in a way that they can understand–fear not, this is likely due to their wrong-minded priorities (e.g., happiness).

This logic will force you to continually seek out the path of greatest resistance and push yourself as hard as you can to get “there.” The destination is irrelevant; it’s the very fact that there is resistance that makes it seem worthwhile. In other categories of your life you likely don’t have the same confusion–for example, you may fully agree that walking through an open doorway is a much better idea than trying to walk through a brick wall–but for some reason this logic gets reversed in regards to your career.  We’ll refer to this as “Brick Wall Syndrome, ” or simply BWS.

firewall_clip_art_10163 image

Watch out for "Irritable Brick Wall Syndrome", that's even worse.

Most people fail or drop out at some point in this process–which is understandable, as it requires near-perfection as well as a fair degree of luck to navigate the course. The longer you go without a failure, the greater the pressure to be perfect all the time and the more (it feels) you have to lose. Unfortunately, being perfect gets harder and harder. The further up this ladder you climb, the more years and vitality it extracts from you and the harder it is to remember what you were doing it for to begin with. On a positive note, with each new accomplishment you earn an entirely new set of options for the future. After 5 years of this intensity you have quite a bit of “option value;” after 10 you could do almost anything. Imagine if you did it for 20 years – someday you’ll be able to do all of those things you always wanted to do – not today, but someday . . .

Sometimes it’s about accumulating money and/or stuff…

This often looks similar to the scenario above. It often layers on top of the scenario above. Having money has real benefits:

  • You can afford to buy products and services that free up time (e.g., car, take-out dinners, Roomba). There are lots of things you can do with more time. Things like looking for more brick walls.
  • You can spend money on stuff to reward yourself for your accomplishments and to prove to others that you are “succeeding” (e.g., houses, watches, monster trucks). Unfortunately, spending it on these things along the way requires earning even more to pay for them. That said, the value of owning a monster truck should not be underestimated.
  • You can even save money so that someday you won’t have to work so hard and you can finally afford to go out and do all of those things you always wanted to do. I guess.

While it is not entirely the same thing, there is no denying that more money = more “option value.” And, you can always have more; someone else always does (we refer to them as “jerks”).

Options don’t kill people, people kill people…

There is absolutely a place for pursuing “option value” and many benefits can come from it. It can indeed get you where you want to go. . . as long as you know where that is. The thing is, you don’t really need 1,000 options, you probably only really want 5. And if you only really want 5, why spend so much time building the other 995? The trick is figuring out which 5 you want and minimizing the amount of time spent accumulating those you don’t care about.

For example, let’s say I want to go on an island vacation. It would probably make sense for me to figure out which island I want to go to, buy a ticket and go. Right? Alternatively, I could put off reflecting on where exactly to go and instead work really hard for several years to save up enough money to buy tickets to 20 different island destinations (just in case the first one doesn’t turn out to be perfect). I still won’t have gone to any islands over these years, but I will now have several to choose from and at least I won’t be sunburnt. Note: I tried really hard to come up with a funnier example for this analogy. I failed (see below, failure can be a good thing).

Pursuing options merely for the sake of having more options is not often a recipe for long-term happiness. It’s all too easy to get caught up in this cycle–especially when you are working so hard to get to the next set of options that you don’t allow yourself time to reflect upon where you are headed or what is on top of the particular ladder you are climbing–be careful, it could be an angry mongoose.

Mongoose With Ladder image

Worse, it could be a giant mongoose. BWS sucks.

One way to break the cycle…

Seek out failure. Failing early is better. Anything is better than running into an angry mongoose on top of a ladder. It’s much easier to succeed if you’re already a failure–and much harder to avoid failing if you are exclusively a succeeder. Most happy people I know have had significant failures. Few happy people that I know are pursuing options for the sake of options (though, they may have monster trucks someday so you should still be friends with them just in case).

Failure teaches you that it’s ok to fail (if this seems obvious, great–if not, be careful, you may be suffering from BWS). Failure often leads to new perspective and a more open mind regarding what “success” can look like. Indeed, failing at what you think you are “supposed to” do may open the door to pursuing what you actually “want to” do. Weird.

Don’t spend all of your time and energy getting stressed about avoiding/fearing failure (a prime symptom of BWS).  Instead, embrace it–it can be more fun that you might think.

Now what?

If you’re working hard on something you don’t love in order to build “option value,” always know why you are doing it and how you plan to “cash in” on those options. You get to choose why and how, but choose. Choose something that inspires you and work specifically towards it. It doesn’t matter what you pick (e.g., travel, time with family, volunteering, ninja training course, etc.). There is no right answer and you can (and should) change it as many times as you want. The important thing is picking something specific rather than just marching forward without a destination–if you don’t choose, the angry mongeese will choose for you and you definitely aren’t going to like what they choose (it will probably be something scary, they eat snakes).

Angry Mongeese image

With them in charge, what could go wrong?? (Note: I am fairly confident that the $2 I paid for this photo is the best $2 I have ever spent)

Once you pick something that inspires you, it’s time to ask yourself when. How much ‘option value’ and which options do you need to pull it off? How much money? Be specific. You might be surprised. You might have more than you need already. It might be time to cash in–you can always create more options later. Plus, who knows what new ones you’ll find along the way…

Monster Truck Mongoose Jump image

Maybe you'll be able to pull this off

Wasn’t that a nice inspirational note to end on?

Note:  The author makes no claim whatsoever to have figured anything important out or to have anything worthwhile to say about this or any other topic.  He writes things like this merely for entertainment purposes–mostly his own. You should definitely not construe this as advice or take action based on it–you could end up unemployed in Chile.

Update:  If you liked this, you may enjoy Chapter 2: Perfectionists should kick themselves in the head (perfectly)


Kayak.com does more than you might think

You may have noticed that in the last couple of weeks we added a Kayak.com flight search box to our sidebar (over on the right).  You may have wondered why.  “Why would they do this?” you might have said to yourself.  You may be saying it to yourself even now.  Fear not, I am here to answer that question for you.

We decided to become affiliate advertisers for Kayak.com for 3 reasons:

1)  Travel is awesome. Everyone should do it more often.

2)  Kayak.com is one of the very best tools out there for finding ways to travel cheaply (if anyone out there doesn’t already know about Kayak.com, it compares fares against virtually every airline and aggregator (e.g., Expedia, Travelocity, etc.) and helps you find the very cheapest/fastest/best way to travel.

3) We don’t want to have to get real jobs anytime soon.  Someday we’re hoping to make some money off of this blog, and if you access Kayak.com through us, we will!  Wouldn’t that be great?  To be sure, we won’t make much money, but empanadas are cheap (another reason why everyone should travel).

But wait, there’s more!!

I only recently learned about this feature and it blew my mind.  It may blow your mind too.  You should sit down.

Have you ever been sitting around thinking to yourself:

“I really need a vacation…  I wonder where I should go?”

or

“I finally have a free weekend, maybe I can plan a trip!”

or

“I only have $300 to spend, I wonder if there is anywhere I could go for that much…”

Kayak.com can answer these questions very quickly for you.  Check out this link:  Kayak: Where can I go from San Francisco in Fall of 2010 for under $1200?

This feature allows you to tell it your origin city, your price range and your time of the year and it will tell you on average what it would cost you to go anywhere in the world within that price range at that time of year.  If you want to, you can even include activities (e.g.,where can I go skiing from Chicago in Jan for <$500).  Instead of skiing, you could also tell it beach or a temperature range or a few other things.  Seriously, this is cool.

In my opinion, this feature is under-marketed… I had never heard of it before I randomly stumbled upon it.  It’s extremely useful for preliminary trip planning to spur ideas when you know you have some time off at some point, but aren’t sure where to go AND also very useful for last minute travel when you suddenly have a few days and just want to get away.

Let’s review what we’ve learned

1)  Kayak.com is awesome

2)  Kayak.com is even awesomer than you may have thought

3)  You don’t want Ryan and Jen to have to get jobs; you want them to eat more empanadas.  To enable this goal, when planning or booking travel you should consider starting with the Kayak.com flight search box here on Consulting Rehab.

Word?

We got interviewed by Quitter to Winner!

And you should read it!  :  Consulting Rehab interview on Quitter to Winner

Quitter to Winner is a relatively new interview-based blog dedicated to “providing a resource for those quitting their job for a career break, sabbatical, entrepreneurial venture or new gig.”  There are some very interesting interviews on there providing inspiration for exploring some less conventional paths in life and I have no doubt the site will only grow.

Thanks to Michael at Quitter to Winner for including us!

4+ months without a job; some observations on our Career Break

We’ve written mostly about our travels on this blog, but we thought that after recently passing our 4 month anniversary of quitting our jobs it would be good time to write a little about what it feels like to be unemployed.  Not having a job is an interesting experience, especially with such an abrupt change after the super high intensity jobs that we left.  Our feelings about it have gone through a sort of cycle over time:

Month 1:  Honeymoon period

Weeks 1-2:  Like a normal vacation–high intensity site seeing

Weeks 3-4:  Time to relax–basking in the glow of not having to get up in the morning

Month 2:  Need something to work hard on  (e.g., studying Spanish)

Month 3:  Getting more comfortable with downtime.  Beginning to wonder how long it will be until we start getting bored

Month 4:  Lots of downtime.  Starting to get bored and feel a little bit like we are in limbo;  beginning to think about future

Month 5:  ?

Current observations

These will likely continue to evolve (see #5 below), but as of now at midnight after a glass of wine, here are some current observations on what it’s like to be without a job for a little over 4 months (in no particular order):

  1. No more back/neck pain–we thought we were just getting old, but it turns out it was the job.  Now we feel younger and more energetic all the time, the difference is amazing.  It took 2+ months for this to be noticeable
  2. In the absence of a job, some things that used to be exciting diversions now feel like work–e.g., planning a trip
  3. Time goes by very quickly, no matter how you spend it
  4. Eating in restaurants all the time makes you want to not eat in restaurants
  5. Perspective takes time and distance and it doesn’t stop evolving
  6. Rehab is the right word for the process–it takes time and has many ups and downs; if you don’t stick to it, you don’t get anything out of it
  7. A few weeks away is NOT enough for a meaningful reset
  8. It takes effort to force yourself to not have relapses and seek out other things to optimize/achieve/stress about (e.g., mastering Spanish, planning every detail of a trip, etc.)
  9. Different things matter; life is short
  10. With this much time to think, it’s easier to see what really matters; and without the distractions of a busy life/job/etc. it’s much easier to incorporate these realizations into your daily life and future plans
  11. We used to be very “driven.”  That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but if you’re going to be driven, make sure that the destination is a place you want to go (hint:  if you’re not enjoying the ride, it’s probably not)
  12. Student loans are a bitch
  13. Not having a cell phone is awesome
  14. It is borderline criminal that there are not empanada delivery joints in the US

Career Breaks and Lifestyle Design

All in all, we would highly recommend this type of sabbatical or career break or whatever you want to call it to anyone.  I’ve been reading a lot about a growing movement called Lifestyle Design which is essentially the idea of getting creative to proactively design the kind of life that you want rather than pick from one of the established paths; many proponents highly recommend “Career Breaks” like this on a relatively frequent basis.  I’m intrigued.

I’ll be writing more about this and providing links to success stories as I explore it further; here are a few for starters:

http://www.freepursuits.com/what-is-lifestyle-design

http://www.kickbacklife.com/2008/10/23/how-to-be-a-lifestyle-design-bad-ass/

http://www.davidrisley.com/2009/06/17/lifestyle-design/

http://www.thecareerbreaksite.com/about-career-breaks

http://www.bootsnall.com/articles/09-06/top-10-reasons-to-take-a-career-breakand-travel.html

Anyone else out there have any experience with this?  Thoughts??

Today in Cafayate

Here’s what we did today:

We woke up this morning in this hotel room…

PatiosDeCafeyate Room

Not bad...

In this hotel (which is free, go Starwood!)…

PatiosDeCafayate front entrance image

To be fair, this is actually the winery attached to the hotel

Overlooking this pool…

PatiosDeCafayate Pool image

I guess it's ok...

PatiosDeCafayate Pool 2 Image

...if you like pools

Then, we got picked up and drove through this winery…

PatiosDeCafayate Vineyard Image

Somebody put a big vineyard around our hotel, oh well.

On our way to go  goat cheese tasting along with a tour of a goat cheese farm…

Las Cabras de Cafayate Goat Image

Good cheese waiting to happen

Then we went wine tasting in a couple of wineries like this one:

FincaDeLasNubes Winery Image

Finca de Las Nubes Winery (our 2nd of the day, after the goat cheese tasting)

Finca De Las Nubes Vineyard Image

They had some ok scenery if you're into this sort of thing...

Then we had a half bottle of Malbec and played chess in the town square before having some local empanadas filled with fresh goat cheese.  After the empanadas, we tried some of the local wine flavored ice cream and headed back to the hotel for a nap.  Now we’re lounging in one of the many common rooms in the hotel

patios De Cafayate common room image

This one actually

We didn’t go to the hot tub today…

Patios de Cafayate Hot Tub Image

...because we did that yesterday

Soon we’ll go to a fancy multi-course meal with a phenomenal bottle of wine.  The entire day including the fancy dinner to come will cost us a grand total of ~$45 USD.

So, yeah, that’s pretty much what we did today.

What did you do today??  🙂