Atacama: A Vacation within a vacation within a vacation

First…

we packed up our apartment in San Francisco, put most of our stuff in storage and went to Buenos Aires.

Then…

after ~4 months we left a couple of bags with a friend in Buenos Aires and went to Santiago.

Then…

after ~1 month we left a couple of bags with friends in Santiago and headed up to San Pedro de Atacama. We’ll be here for ~5 days.

Like a dream within a dream within a dream…

this is a vacation within a vacation within a vacation. We can only hope that the ‘kicks’ are timed correctly and we will be able to return to Santiago and then Buenos Aires and then the US with all of our things and ourselves intact.   If anything goes wrong we could become lost in vacation limbo forever. Obviously, this would be horrible.

We have to be careful.

We can only hope that our subconscious doesn’t create evil projections that are able to catch us and throw us out of our vacation early. To avoid them we will have to choose a new and exotic destination every day. We will go to crazy places like the Valle de la Luna, Los Geysers del Tatio, Las Lagunas Altiplanicos and others. If things get desperate, we may even go so far as to go sandboarding in the desert and/or cross the somewhat unpredictable and recently unstable border into Bolivia. Hopefully these crazy environments and activities will be enough to confuse our subconscious and keep us safe.

Time moves much slower here than in reality.

Because we have total freedom to choose what we want to do in each moment, every day spent in a normal vacation is worth 10 days of life at home (just add up how many hours you spend enjoying what you want to do vs. doing what you are supposed to do in a normal 10 day period in reality and you’ll see what I mean). Many theorize that this time distortion compounds with each additional layer of vacation abstraction–each day on a second level vacation is worth 100 days of enjoyment in your normal life; each day on a third level, 1,000. We’ll be here for ~5 days on this third level vacation which means that for us it will be the equivalent of 5,000 days worth of normal life enjoyment. You will hardly realize that we were gone, but for us, we will have experienced ~14 years of enjoyment here in the arid high-altitude desert of Atacama. If, upon reading this, you are now depressed by how little you enjoy your normal life, consider joining us–there is still room on our afternoon tour.

Unfortunately we do not have any spinny tops.

When we return… if we return… we will have no way of knowing whether or not we are back in reality or are in yet another layer of vacation. It’s entirely possible that we will spend the rest of our lives unsure whether we are on vacation or not. We are okay with this. If we do end up in vacation limbo, please consider joining us, but under no circumstances should you attempt to rescue us.

By the way…

If the last 6 months have just been a dream and rather than traveling in South America we’ve actually just been sleeping in a conference room using our laptops as pillows while making slides for a big presentation tomorrow… Please don’t wake us up; we will be cranky.

p.s. If you haven’t seen the movie “Inception” go see it. Then this will make (at least some) sense.

CPTJMIY: Gordon Jack on getting the government to pay for your travel adventures

Last week on Crazy People That Just Might Inspire You (CPTJMIY), we featured Crazy Person Dave Kovac on his involvement with Habitat for Humanity Global Village and how he manages to make his passion for travelling the world and helping people a regular part of his life.  Hopefully, many of you were inspired (if not, let me know and I’ll tell Dave to try to be crazier in the future).

Dave’s success in setting his life up in a way that allows him to balance his passions with his commitments/responsibilities on an ongoing basis is pretty awesome.  What’s perhaps even more awesome is that his is only one of thousands of ways to do this.  If you spend most of your time in an office you likely don’t hear much about all of these less-conventional lifestyles that are out there–it’s not because they aren’t out there, it’s because the people that are living them are not spending much time hanging out in your office (also, conversely, the people that are in the office with you all the time are unlikely to be promoting unconventional lifestyles).  That’s what CPTJMIY is here for.

Diversity is abundant when it comes to Crazy People.  This week’s Crazy Person is Gordon Jack; he represents a whole different flavor of crazy.

Some background on Gordon

We met Gordon in Buenos Aires at an intercambio event at our Spanish school back in ~April.  For those that aren’t familiar with the term ‘intercambio,’ in this context it’s meant to be a gathering of native Spanish speakers interested in learning English, with native English speakers interested in learning Spanish.  You get together, drink some wine and talk half in English and half in Spanish. Perhaps the most notable part of our intercambio experience with Gordon was that there were no native Spanish speakers, so after making each others’ Spanish worse for awhile we just talked to Gordon in English.    We’re glad we did.

Gordon Jack Intercambio image

It was an intercambio just like this one (photo courtesy of Gordon)

We immediately hit it off with Gordon.  Not only is he just a very cool guy; at the time, he was also relatively new to BA and from San Francisco so we had a lot to talk about.  Also, he’s a Crazy Person.  Gordon somehow managed to get the US government to pay for a ~6 month trip to Buenos Aires for him and his family; sadly, we did not.  Intrigued?  Would you like to get the US government to pay for an incredible international adventure for you?  We thought so.  Let’s find out how this works.

Gordon Jack: The interview

Let’s start with some basics…

Gordon, give us some background… what is your career back home?

I am a high school English teacher.

Why do you do it and how long have you been doing it?

Most teachers would say they want to save the world by educating young people to be caring and responsible citizens.  That’s kinda true for me.  Initially, I took the job because I wanted extended vacations. After working in advertising for four years, I needed more than a two-weeks off a year.

Have you done any long-term travel like this in the past?  If so, where/why?

I’ve never enjoyed vacations that involve a lot of traveling.  What I like to do is repeat my routine in a foreign country. That way, I experience both normalcy and abnormality at the same time.  It makes the craziness comfortable (or the comfort crazy, I haven’t decided which.)

As a sophomore in high school, I lived for a summer with a family in Oaxaca, Mexico.  My sophomore year in college I studied abroad in Lugano, Switzerland for a semester.  After quitting my advertising job, I lived in Granada, Spain for two years.  I also worked for a year in Santiago, Chile at the international school there.  Given all this time spent in Spanish speaking countries, it’s surprising my Spanish isn’t better than it is.

What do you like about international travel/living?  What motivates you to do it?

I like the challenge of international living.  Every day, you learn something new about the culture or language.  Back home, I wouldn’t spend much time finding the right medicine for constipation.  But in another country, that can be a whole day adventure!

Do you consider yourself to be a Crazy Person?  Do your friends and family?

I don’t think so, but those funny green men in orange suits who live in my sock drawer disagree with me.

Ok, now about this Argentina thing…

How long were you and your family in Argentina?

5 months

Why Argentina?

I spent a long weekend in Buenos Aires when I was working in Santiago, Chile and fell in love with the city.  I love the beauty of the architecture, the life on the streets, the plethora of parks and museums.  There are also incredible things to see outside the city, like the glaciers, waterfalls, vineyards, lakes, cattle ranches, and dinosaur fossils (OK, my seven year old son made me include that last one.)

We heard that you got the government to pay for a big chunk of this trip… How is this possible?  What did you have to do for them in return?  (We’re hoping it involves secret spy stuff)

Well, I sort of spied on their academic institutions, but I didn’t learn any valuable state secrets.  I went to Argentina on a Fulbright scholarship, which paid for most of the trip. Most people, including myself, think that Fulbright grants are reserved for fancy academics but they have some for slobs like me too.  In return for the money, I had create a project that promoted cross-cultural communication between students in Argentina and the United States.

Tell us more about your project

My project involved having U.S. And Argentine students engage in a visual correspondence of photographs to see what could be learned about a different culture. Over the course of three months, the students exchanged photographs which in some way represented their values or beliefs. The challenge was to find a way to represent an abstract idea with a concrete image (they weren’t allowed to put themselves in the photo). Upon receiving the photo, the partner had to interpret the image and then send one back that matched it in some way (through a similar use of line, image, color, etc.) but communicated something unique about him or her. Here is a link with some examples: http://www.slideshare.net/gordonjack/visual-correspondence-project

So what were the results of your project?

The results were mixed.  Not as many students participated as I would have liked, but the students who participated did amazing work that made me look good to the fancy academics.

Would you consider your experience worthwhile?

Definitely.  It was an amazing experience for my family.  We got to spend a lot more time together, which you might think would be disastrous, but it worked out surprisingly well.

Gordon Jack presenting Fulbright image

Here's Gordon presenting a fancy looking chart. Brings back memories. (photo courtesy of Gordon)

Let’s talk Fulbright…

How did you get the idea to apply for a Fulbright scholarship?

I wish I could say it was through months of painstaking research and thoughtful deliberation, but the truth is, I saw an ad in an educational magazine announcing a new Fulbright grant called “The Fulbright Distinguished Awards in Teaching” and decided to apply. When I asked my wife’s permission, she looked at me kind of funny.  “I’m sorry,” she said, shaking her head. “I thought for a second you said you wanted to apply for a Fulbright Distinguished Award in Teaching.”
“I did,” I replied.
“Distinguished?  Really?”
“Why not?”
“Nothing.  Go for it.”
Little did she realize what a misnomer the program’s title was.

Can just anyone apply (age/expertise/education/etc.)?  How do you qualify?

You need some teaching experience.  Here’s the website for anyone who’s interested: http://www.fulbrightteacherexchange.org/dteIndex.cfm

What kinds of projects can you do?  Any good examples of other projects you are familiar with?

Like I said, the goal of the projects is to promote cross-cultural understanding and dialogue.  My project involved a visual correspondence of self-portrait photographs between Argentine and U.S. students.  Another Fulbrighter in Argentina was studying traditional folkloric music to teach to her students in the U.S.

What percent of your time were you focused on your project vs. enjoying your trip?

The nice part of about the scholarship was that it allowed for a more balanced time of work and play.  The bureaucracy in Argentina is pretty bad.  As a result, things move much slower there than in the U.S.  The nice part about this was that while I was waiting for my mentor to find me classes to teach and attend, I could go on nice long lunches with my wife.

If you get a scholarship, what does the government provide?

Money and contacts.  We had to find our apartment and our son’s school on our own.

JWFulbright image

J. William Fulbright paid for Gordon's trip, now he wants to pay for your trip

How does the application process work?  How long does it take?  How competitive is it?

I applied in March 2009, was accepted in May of that year and left in February 2010.  I don’t know how many applications the Fulbright organization received.  The program was new so I benefited from fewer people knowing about it.

Any advice for someone interested in applying?

Do it!  It’s great.  I was burning out and now I feel like I’m burning again (in a good way).

Any pros/cons to trying to get this kind of a scholarship to facilitate travel?

Well, there’s the whole work thing.  That could be a pro or a con depending on your point of view.  We could have traveled more if I didn’t have to work on my project.  On the other hand, the project focused my time and made it feel more purposeful.  I feel like I got more out of my experience because I had this particular focus that put me in touch with people I never would have met if I were just traveling.

Now, a little on balancing this with the rest of your life…

Did you have to quit your previous job in order to do this, or was your employer willing to let you go on sabbatical for awhile?

My employer reacted the same way as my wife when I told him I was applying for this grant.  He had to sign a form guaranteeing my job when I returned, which I think he only did because he never thought I would get it.

Any advice for convincing an employer to let someone do something like this?

Play along with other people’s low expectations but don’t let them dissuade you.  When you approach your superintendent with the form, say “This is something I’m never going to get, but would mind signing it anyway?”  Then be sure to act all surprised when they accept you and apologize for any inconvenience this may cause. You should also mention that it looks good for the district to have a Fulbright teacher on their staff, even though no one probably cares.

Was it challenging to convince your family to go along?  How did that work out?

My wife was surprisingly game for the adventure and my seven-year-old son wasn’t told about it until we boarded the plane so he didn’t have time to complain.

Any general advice for people looking to find ways to make their passions part of their regular lives?

Well, first you have to find your passion, which can be hard because sometimes it’s buried deep beneath the thousands of emails filling your inbox.  Taking time away from your responsibilities can help you discover what you like to do.  As a teacher, I benefit from having three months a year to do this and it’s helped me understand what makes me happy and what makes me miserable.  Now, I’m trying to focus as much of my time on the happy part and avoid as much as possible the miserable part, which is also hard because no one pays you to be happy.  They only pay you to be miserable.

Gordon Fulbright Argentine trip image

Gordon getting paid by the government to happily take a nap with an Argentine horse (photo courtesy of Gordon)

Thanks Gordon!!

You can read more about Gordon and his family’s adventures in Argentina on his very entertaining blog:  http://jackfamilyinba.wordpress.com/

For those of you that aren’t teachers, fear not, you still may be able to hook yourself up with a Fulbright Grant.  They have several programs for people of different backgrounds.  Check out the official site for more details on what grants are out there and how to get more information:  Official Fulbright website If you manage to get one of these, not only does the government pay for an incredible adventure, but it’s super prestigious and according to the Fulbright Wikipedia page, lots of Fulbrighters win Nobel Prizes–those look really good on your resume.

So, to recap:

  1. Government pays for crazy travel adventure
  2. You design your own research project having to do with things that interest you
  3. You get a good balance between living/working in a foreign culture and an amazing long-term vacation
  4. It’s highly prestigious and will very likely help to advance your career rather than looking like a long vacation
  5. You might win a Nobel prize

Sounds like a pretty awesome way to take a career break to us.   We wish our career break had at least one of these five elements (ideally either the government paying for it or the Nobel prize).

Check us out on Career Break Secrets!

We got featured on the “Who’s out there now” segment of Career Break Secrets.  You can check it out here:  Consulting Rehab feature

If you aren’t familiar with Career Break Secrets, you should be.  They are yet another great resource out there to provide planning resources and help inspire you to go on your own career break adventure.  Also, they are one of the sponsors of Meet, Plan, Go! which we wrote about last week here.

Rather than trying to describe them myself, here is a quick excerpt on how Career Break Secrets describes themselves:

“A career break is a way to rejuvenate and reconnect with your passion, whether you want a month away from your daily grind, or a year to find what makes you happy. Career Break Secrets can make what seems like an overwhelming undertaking – easy. Our planning advice and video travel guides, created with the career breaker in mind, will inspire you and show you how. We help you make that dream to take a career break a reality today. Why? Because life is out there.”

Pretty cool.  Check it out.

Wine tasting at Concha y Toro

Ryan and I had a day free of networking meetings this past week, so we decided to get out of the city and visit Concha y Toro winery for the afternoon. We were psyched to find out we could get almost all the way there using public transit: hop the subway one block from our apartment in Bellas Artes, make one change, ride it to the end, then a 10 minute cab ride out to the winery.

Even if it doesn’t ring a bell, you’re probably familiar with Concha y Toro – recognize any of these labels?

Concha y Toro wine brands

We've seen Casillero del Diablo in the grocery stores and Como Sur in Trader Joe's in CA

Concha y Toro is the largest winery in Latin America (and the 8th largest in the world) and exports ~80% of their wines – lots of them end up in the US. They also seem to be the biggest winery tour attraction (at least that we’ve ever seen).  We learned from our guide that during the low season (like now, middle of winter), they give tours to ~300 visitors per day. In the high season (December/January), they have up to 900 guests per day. To us, it seemed crazy busy – can’t imagine what it’s like during high season.

We had called ahead and made reservations for the English tour. We arrived a bit early and wandered through the store, trying to avoid the group of 40 Venezuelans (who clearly were not at their first stop of the day). Our tour ended up being just us and 6 retired Australians, and it went a little something like this:

  • Watch cheezy corporate video about the history of the winery in a fancy theater room
  • Walk across the winery grounds to see the original house that the owner built – beautiful yellow and white mansion with lots of cool statues and fountains and a view over the vineyards and their own private pond

    Concha y Toro mansion image

    The house and the grounds surrounding it are gorgeous, even on a grey winter day

  • Look at some dormant vines (we’ve taken to visiting wineries in the dead of winter; not recommended) and wait for Australian tourmates to finish asking the guide question about her year mopping floors in an Australian mine
  • Taste a splash of something white in our fancy dancy branded glasses (that we got to take home!)
  • Wait for the group of 40 tipsy Venezuelans to leave the cellar (the Casillero del Diablo) so we can go down and check it out. The story goes that long ago, the original owner noticed that bottles of his private stash of wines had gone missing from the cellar, so he spread a rumor that the devil dwelled in his cellar . . . and never lost another bottle again. As we were leaving the cellar, the lights went out (it was really dark) and a recorded voice began telling the story of the devil in the cellar
  • Pop back above-ground and taste a splash of something red before being shuttled into the restaurant and store

While this wasn’t exactly the best wine tour we’ve been on, it was interesting to see Chile’s largest wine tourist attraction. And the free glasses were a bonus (especially since we broke one in our short-term apartment and had to replace it – shhh, don’t tell our landlord). The Concha y Toro wine tour was something different and easy to do from the city of Santiago for an afternoon, but very different that the high-end wine tasting tour we did in Mendoza. We learned that large corporate wineries aren’t really our gig, but we still like their wines!

CPTJMIY: Dave Kovac on Volunteer Vacations, Global Village, and finding balance (Part 2)

It’s been a long and arduous 3 day wait, but I’m thrilled to let you know that you need not wait any longer… Part 2 of our interview with the very first featured Crazy Person That Just Might Inspire You (CPTJMIY) is here.

I’m sure you all read part 1 of our interview with Dave Kovac which focused mainly on his inspiring involvement in Habitat for Humanity’s Global Village international trip program (if not, you should!).  While reading it, you may have wondered how he possibly manages to spend 2-8+ weeks a year out of the country building houses and making a true difference for people in remote parts of the world.  It’s one thing to go on a trip every once in a while, but how has he managed to balance it with the rest of his life/career/family for several years now?  We’re glad you asked.  That’s what part 2 is all about.  Let’s find out:

Dave Kovac – The interview (part 2)

Dave Kovac Global Village image

As a trip leader, Dave is forced to wear many hats. Sometimes simultaneously.

Ok, a little more about you…

We hear you actually have a “real job”. When you’re not leading trips, what do you do with your time?

I split between a couple of things. I teach at Oregon State University, I own/manage some rental properties, I do a little consulting, and I’m easing out of my 12-year tenure as a house-dad.

Did you intentionally choose a career that would allow you the kind of flexibility you currently have? If so, how? And if not, how did you end up this way?

That’s an interesting question. I don’t see myself as having a “career.” I had one. I prepared for it and I worked for it and I followed a well-worn path that was to put me in a career position as a college administrator, but I found that the deeper I got into the career, the less time I spent doing what I initially intended on doing. It’s a fairly common occurrence — people join a profession because they enjoy the work and then move up the administrative ladder moving further and further from the work that they enjoyed so much in the first place. Our reward for doing a good job is oftentimes being given extra jobs for which we have little preparation or interest (or even skill). That produces ambiguity, loss of confidence, stress… In education, at least, good teachers are often promoted to administrative positions which require a completely different skill set. One goes from displaying the ability to connect with students and impart knowledge to balancing budgets and making personnel decisions. That’s not what most teachers are either trained for or want to do.

Now back to your question. When I stopped my career I thought it would be temporary but “knew” that it necessitated a change of some kind. I stopped in order to be a “house-dad” for our three growing children. My wife was in a position/career that she was devoted to and our kids needed the time and attention. It was weird and scary and oddly threatening — to me and to people in our community. A lot of people — including myself — seemed very uncomfortable with the notion of purposely jumping off of the career track. Some were disappointed, many were confused, and a lot, I discovered, were envious of me doing what they secretly hoped to do. So I added the title “consultant” to my name plate and shopped that around for a bit. It was easier than trying to explain what I was doing, an understandable “career-move” (if it brought in the bucks), and wasn’t untrue: I did a lot of consulting — I consulted with the family on what we should have for dinner, I consulted with the kids on when their soccer practices were, I consulted with my wife on what needed to be done around the house…

I began reconstructing my interests, skills, and priorities — not necessarily in any planned sort of way — in order to feel better about what I was doing. What I’ve come to is not a career, really. It’s a mix of commitments, responsibilities, interests, and involvements. I’m much busier now. I’m pretty scattered. I am crazy. But that’s my life — the one I’ve defined, and not the one defined by my “career.”

Dave Kovac Global Village 2 image

Dave and some of his 'clients'

How do you balance being on the road for extended periods of time with work, family, other responsibilities at home?

I don’t know if I balance it. It doesn’t feel balanced. But it doesn’t feel chaotic or stressful, either. I’ve been able to incorporate family into the trips by taking each of my children, separately, on a Habitat build. My wife will tell you that she counts on me being gone a few weeks out of the year so that she can have some alone time with the kids or visit relatives that we just haven’t had the time to see together. I do think that my teaching suffers when classes are interrupted by me being gone, so I’m trying to work on that. But that’s just a matter of me being more conscious of my schedule.

Dave Kovac Global Village Balance image

Looks pretty well balanced to us

Do you feel you’ve had to make any major sacrifices to find this balance?

Not really. This is more of who I am. I’m following my interests, I feel I’m making a difference, and I believe that the good I do in one area of my life seeps through to other areas. I do miss having spending money, but that never worked out so well for me anyway.

What are the biggest challenges? Biggest rewards?

The biggest challenge is packing. Oh, and completing expense reports. As for the rewards…they are plentiful, my son.

Any advice for people trying to create a better balance in their life (for instance, people who work crazy hours in jobs they don’t love)?

The easiest advice that someone could give is, “hey, if you don’t like what you’re doing, stop.” But that’s not very realistic. When we’re talking about achieving balance we’re really talking about developing our own identity. Who am I? What am I good at? What inspires me? What do I like to do? Seek out those activities that help answer those questions and reinforce what you’ve discovered. It’s funny, but I’ve found that during those times I’ve been completely stressed and anxious, instead of subtracting from my list of commitments, I ended up adding to them so that the sum of those commitments held meaning. “Who am I?” is not a question that can or should have one answer — it’s a compilation of many things.

Anything else to add?

If this makes me crazy, then yeah, I’m nuts.

One last thing…

When/where is your next trip? How do you sign up?

Thanks for mentioning that. We are still looking for participants in my next Global Village adventure to Udon Thani, Thailand in November. After that, it looks like I’ll be heading back to Macedonia in June. Habitat for Humanity’s Global Village program maintains a constantly updated trip schedule at http://www.habitat.org/cd/gv/schedule.aspx . Look at when and were trips are being scheduled throughout the world and if my name’s in the trip leader column — bonus!

Dave Kovac Global Village team image

Consider Global Village for your next vacation; these people did.

Thanks Dave!!  We definitely think that you are Crazy–and to us, that is high praise.  We are inspired and we’re hoping that this interview will inspire others as well.

You can get more info about Dave’s upcoming trip to Udon Thani, Thailand in this brochure.  Also, check out the Global Village website for info about this and other trips; they are happening all the time, all over the world and they are 100% worth checking out.

Meet, Plan, Go! September 14th in thirteen cities.  Be there. Seriously.

Listen up.  This is important.  We want to tell you about an outstanding event that will be taking place on Sept. 14th in thirteen cities across the US and Canada called Meet, Plan, Go! Its entire purpose is to provide you with inspiration, contacts and resources to “plan the trip of a lifetime” – and then go.  You’re probably wondering how much something this awesome would cost.  Well, I hope you’re sitting down: this event is free.  If you live anywhere near one of these cities, we think you should go.  To be honest, we’re pretty bummed that the fact that we’re already traveling prevents us from going.  Please go and tell us about it so that we can live vicariously through YOU (seriously, it’s the least you could do).  🙂

If that wasn’t enough to convince you, read on…

If you’ve followed this blog at all in the past, then you know a little bit about our story–we were management consultants with intense jobs for a long time, now we’re hanging out in South America applying our high-intensity, driven personalities to enjoying life rather than making PowerPoint slides.  We won’t be doing this forever, and we wouldn’t want to.  Even if we had the finances to enable doing it forever (which we most decidedly do not), we’d eventually need to go back to doing something that felt like it gave us a purpose.  Going on a long-term trip like this doesn’t mean abandoning your career or even your current job, it just means taking a break.  That’s why we like the term “Career Break”, which we keep coming across more and more during our adventure.

The more we reflect on our experience and the more we learn about what others get out of taking Career Breaks (whether they last 2 months or 12), the more enthusiastic we are about suggesting them to others–everyone really.  I can’t think of anyone that wouldn’t benefit from taking a step back for a little while.  It brings perspective.  It allows you to see more clearly what it is that you want.  It may lead to you returning to your previous job/career with a renewed vigor and sense of purpose, or it may lead you to new epiphanies about who you are and what you really want to be doing.  Regardless of where it leads you, by the end you’ll know yourself better, be more excited about life and probably have some great photos and crazy stories that you can use to make your friends jealous.

If you read our recent post on career option-value and identified with anything in it, you’ll agree that one of the very best ways to remove the stress from your life is to embrace and enjoy failure rather than running from it.  There is no better way to feel like a failure on a daily basis than to immerse yourself in a foreign culture–trust me, it’s pretty fascinating to go from being a senior client advisor to only having the ability to communicate at the level of a 5th grader!  Not only will you be humbled on a daily basis, but you’ll be away from the constant influence of your friends and colleagues who, in an attempt to be supportive, tend to reinforce the idea that you should stay on the path you’re on.  They may be right, but it’s more important what you think–and it’s almost impossible to get real perspective without getting away from it all every so often.  Long-term travel is the best way I know to do it.

Still not convinced?  We’ve got reinforcements…

I could go on and on (and you’ve seen me do it!), but instead I’d like to turn it over to one of the founders of Meet, Plan, Go! who also happens to be the host of the event in San Francisco to tell you more.  Her name is Tara Russell and she is someone you should get to know.  Here’s a quick snippet of her bio from the Meet, Plan, Go website:

TARA RUSSELL is a “Life Sabbatical & Long-term Travel Coach” – a Certified Life and Career Coach with a passion for working with clients who dream of taking time off to travel, live, work, study or volunteer abroad. As the Founder and President of Three Month Visa Coaching and Consulting, her mission is to empower her clients to change their lives (and ultimately the world at large), through meaningful international travel experiences.

Let’s talk about this Meet, Plan Go! thing…

Tara, tell us more about the origins of Meet, Plan, Go!… How did it get started and why does it exist?

The seed for Meet, Plan, Go! was planted back in January of 2010 when Michaela Potter and Sherry Ott who founded Briefcase to Backpack were in town and we met up for coffee.  We realized that there were so many cool ways that we might work together that what was meant to be a half-hour meeting turned into a 5-hour brainstorming session!  Our goal working together has been to take this conversation about Americans and career breaks and start building some critical mass behind it – get it out from the underground and take it national.  One thing that came up was the success of a group I have been running for a few years now in SF – SF Travel Book Club and Lectures Series – and we started to wonder what it would look like if we could take the strength of that in-person group dynamic and expand it nationwide by doing a day of coordinated events across the US.  From there, Michaela and Sherry were able to leverage the strength of their online network to recruit hosts and panelists from across the US and that’s how Meet, Plan, Go! came to be!

Why do you think that taking a Career Break and traveling is beneficial for people?

I would go beyond even saying “beneficial” – I think career breaks are absolutely essential for people…perhaps now more so than ever.  Consider that our office desks are no longer stationary items that we can leave behind after 5pm…with the introduction of cell phones and PDAs, many of us are forever wired and always accessible from the moment we wake up in the morning to the time we go to bed at night. In an age when we are hearing more and more about work /life balance, it seems increasingly difficult to truly “unplug.”

Career breaks and travel give us that opportunity to unplug…to really take a step back, get perspective and regain balance in a way that we just can’t do while we are caught up in the pace of our hectic 9-5.  (Or – let’s be honest – given the crazy hours many of us work, our 5-9.)

Travel gives us fresh and new perspectives, expands our horizons, strengthens our sense of adventure, pushes us to challenge ourselves, feeds an appreciation of our own strengths and abilities and provides us with space and time to examine who we are and what we truly want out of life.  I’m passionate about helping my clients find that and taking that message national is what MPG is all about!

Who is this event for?

Well, it’s pretty simple, really.  Here’s a quick and easy exercise to help readers determine if MPG is right for them…

Close your eyes and imagine taking time for yourself to do exactly what you have always wanted.  Do you see:
* Surfing lessons in Costa Rica?

* Taking classes at a local university?

* Hiking the Himalayan Annapurna Circuit in Nepal?

* Renovating your house into the home you dream of?

* Volunteering at an orphanage in Brazil?

* Japanese lessons in Kyoto?

If you came up with anything other than “I’d like to be right here where I am…in my beige cubicle.”, then Meet, Plan, Go! is definitely for you.

This event is for anyone who has ever had a travel dream and wondered how to make it a reality.  Anyone who has ever thought “Oh, I would so love to do something like that, but…  Anyone who is currently reading this from their tiny little corner of cubicleland and thinking “Man, I wish I was lounging on the beach in Fiji right now.”

You get the picture…if you close your eyes and dream of being somewhere other than where you are, this is the event for you.

What exactly will happen at the event?

We have put together a stellar panel of travel experts – travel writers, photographers, podcasters and bloggers as well as me wearing the hat of Travel Coach.  We will be presenting on the big Whys and Hows of career breaks and long-term travel and helping participants get an idea of resources that they turn to when they can start planning and go for support as they move forward.

What do you expect that people will get out of it?  Why is it worth their time?

I would say this really breaks down into the “big three” of what you need to make your plans for a career break a success – inspiration, resources, and community.  People who attend will be inspired by a panel of speakers / travel industry experts, they will be connected with some of the resources they need to start making their travel dreams a reality and they will be surrounded by a dynamic, supportive community of people who “get it”.  Each element of that formula is really key for us.

Ok, let’s talk about the San Francisco event for a minute…

What are the logistics (e.g., when, where, how long, how do people sign up, etc.)?

The SF event is being held on Tuesday, September 14th from 7-9pm at NextSpace in downtown San Francisco.  The event is free but participants do need to reserve their space and print and bring their ticket with them.  RSVPs can be made at:      http://meetplangosanfrancisco.eventbrite.com

Switching gears a bit, let’s talk about you…

How and why did you personally get involved in this?

When I met Sherry and Michaela back in January, there was such a cool synergy there when we combined our skill sets.  Given their professional and personal backgrounds and their experience running Briefcase to Backpack and also blogs of their own, they are incredibly savvy about the internet, blogging, online networks and marketing, etc.  What I brought to the table was years of experience running in-person travel-related events and also working with one-on-one coaching clients as they prepared for career breaks of their own.  From that, (coupled with my own experiences planning and realizing a year-long career break of my own,) I had a keen understanding of the self-imposed limitations and perceived obstacles that often deter people from taking the sabbaticals that they really want.  When we put our heads together, in short, I saw the opportunity to work with really cool people on a project I was extremely passionate about – how could I say no?

What do you do with your time when you’re not working on Meet, Plan, Go?

I am thrilled that I get to spend a great deal of my time working with one-on-one travel coaching clients, helping them work through the logistical and emotional preparations that go into making a career break possible.  In addition, I’ve been able to do quite a bit of speaking in the San Francisco Bay Area and beyond on topics revolving around career breaks, life sabbaticals and long-term travel.  Loving my work makes it something I am pleased to dedicate a lot of time to.

When I’m not coaching, reading travel books or arranging events for SF Travel Lit & Lectures or working on MPG, I do my best to get out in this gorgeous city with friends to enjoy all the great sights, music, food and museums that SF has to offer.  I also dedicate as much time as possible to my passion for photography and some of my work can be seen at www.greentaraphoto.com

And (of course,) whenever I can, I travel!

A few things to summarize…

This event sounds awesome.  It is unbelievably inspiring to me/us that a few people got in a room together and conceived a plan to put something like this together for the sole purpose of inspiring others to get out there and pursue their travel-related passions and that now, in a few weeks, it’s going to happen simultaneously in thirteen cities.  We are at the same time impressed by the ambition and execution of the coordinators, inspired by the concept and, perhaps more than anything, jealous that you get to go and we don’t.  Don’t miss it-we’ll be angry with you.

Check out the Meet, Plan, Go! website for more info

CPTJMIY: Dave Kovac on Volunteer Vacations, Global Village, and finding balance (Part 1)

We are tired. It’s hard [expletive removed] work trying to inspire all of you people out there to get out and create the life you’ve always wanted rather than the one you think you are supposed to have. We recognize that many of you read this and think, “Wow, that’s really great for them that they are out there having so much fun with no concern for the consequences,” shortly followed by, “That said, they are crazy.” Since we are outnumbered (seriously, there are more of you everyday!), we’ve decided to enlist the help of some other crazy people to help make our point.

As part of our very well thought out and documented blogging strategy (which often involves cocktail napkins and pisco sours), we are officially announcing our new feature “Crazy People That Just Might Inspire You,” or simply CPTJMIY–we even made a fancy logo for it (see above), that’s how serious we are. In CPTJMIY, we will periodically highlight crazy people that have found ways to combine their passions with their daily lives rather than put the pursuit of their passions off until “someday”.

Our first Crazy Person is Dave Kovac

Romania Habitat Global Village trip 2006 Dave Kovac image

See what I mean by crazy? 🙂

First, a little background on Dave

Dave holds a special place in both of our hearts. Actually, in a very weird coincidence, he was perhaps the first indirect connection between Jen and me and certainly a major catalyst for us having so much to talk about when we first met.

During the summer of 2006 just after I graduated from business school, I had the opportunity to go on a Habitat For Humanity International/Global Village program through the consulting firm that I would soon be working for (they were offering to sponsor this as a sort of sign-on bonus, which was fantastic). I chose a 2-week trip to help build houses in Cluj, Romania–the heart of Transylvania. I had never done anything like this before; it was an amazing experience. Working alongside locals and knowing that you are helping to make a difference for them is so much better than being a tourist–not only do you feel good about helping, but it’s also relatively inexpensive, you do and see things that you’d never be able to experience as a tourist and you get to hang out with a group of pretty awesome fellow volunteers. Why am I telling you this? Dave Kovac was the leader of that trip.

Romania Habitat Global Village Trip 2006 build site image

This is from our work site in Romania. We worked hard...

Not only was Dave the leader of my trip in 2006, but he’s been leading trips like this all over the world for years… including the same trip in 2007 at the exact same worksite in Romania that my now-wife Jen went on (you know what they say–a couple that builds the same house together, in Romania, a year apart, with the same trip leader, stays together). So, Dave knew us before we knew us. In an indirect way, he may be responsible for us (which he has mentioned makes him feel a little bit dirty).

Romania Habitat Global Village Trip 2006, Monastery image

... we also played hard. We spent several days exploring the country side with the awesome local staff as our guides. This photo is from a functioning monastery that we spent the night at. It was awesome.

I’ll let Dave tell the rest of his story himself, but one other thing I want to mention… Leading these trips is NOT Dave’s job. Dave does other things for employment and income purposes, but he still makes the time to lead a couple of these trips a year. He is a great example of someone that has found a way to balance passions and responsibilities in a way that perhaps gives him the best of all worlds. Don’t believe me? Let’s ask him:

Note:  We’ve split the interview into 2 parts.  Part 1, below, focuses mostly on Dave’s involvement with the Habitat for Humanity Global Village program and the kind of amazing experiences you can get from this form of “volunteer vacation.”  This is cool stuff and I highly recommend you look into it if you’re looking to do something a little different and extremely rewarding for your next 2 week vacation.

Part 2 of the interview will launch later in the week and will focus more on Dave himself and how he was able to set up his life and career in a way that allows him to spend ~1 month every year somewhere in the world leading trips like this.  Very cool stuff.

Dave Kovac – The interview

Dave, how does it feel to be the very first ‘Crazy Person’ featured on Consulting Rehab?

Kind of a weird combination of honored, overjoyed, humbled, and confused. But I’m ready. Bring it.

So let’s talk a little about these Habitat trips you lead…

So, give us the overview–how/when/why did you get into leading these Habitat Global Village trips?

Habitat for Humanity is a great organization. I think a lot of people know that. The Global Village program is Habitat’s international trip program that has really led the way in what has become the volunteer vacation movement. My initial involvement was accidental and during a time in my life when I was in transition — I had been a university administrator and teacher for quite some time and I needed to stop-out of that for the good of our growing family. So when I was in the room when someone received a phone call asking them if they’d be interested in going on a Habitat trip to Kenya, the person who received the call said “No, I don’t think so, but Dave might want to…” And I did.

I had a great experience on that first trip. But it was a little tough. It was in the year 2000 and we would be building the 1,000th Habitat home in Kenya. We didn’t really know that going in, but it became a big deal — dubbed “the Millennium Build.” That put a lot of pressure on our team leader who had to meet with dignitaries, resolve conflicts and disputes arising from villages and communities either vying for our attention or backing-out of previous arrangements, and generally feeling like all of our moves were under some microscope. While being pulled in so many different directions, our team leader asked me to help pay attention to the team and dynamics. All 13 of us were sleeping on a concrete floor under mosquito nets in a 12×13 room, there was no running water, at night we were at the mercy of periodic scheduled and unscheduled rolling blackouts, and during the day we might not even see each other as the team was divided into small groups of 2 or 3 and sent to different work sites (some as far as 90 minutes away) so that different communities could share in the honor of being part of the Millennium Build. I think there ended-up being 6 or 7 Millenium Houses. Separated, in tough conditions, and not knowing what was happening next, people got a little cranky. At the same time, we were all having a fantastic experience — we just need a little time to process it and share in this amazing thing that was happening. So I became the fun guy. It was great! I’d lead massive games of Simon Sez with 30 or 40 village kids each night; we set-up a soccer field in our encampment for evening games; we rented bicycles from the local bike-taxi drivers so we could take an afternoon off to tour the area… We became more engaged in the community. And as we became more engaged in the community we became more committed to the work and began relating to each other better. And I started thinking, “Wow! This happened within days! If I could bottle this up and take it home, think of how enjoyable and productive this could be to our communities, our businesses, and our corporations.”

During the later part of the build, as things were going better and our team really hit our stride, someone suggested I do this sort of thing on a regular basis – that I should lead trips. I was open to the idea but I was hesitant — there wasn’t any money in it and I was a little skeptical about jumping into an organization that I didn’t know too much about. I decided that I’d visit the Habitat headquarters in Americus, Georgia so I could meet some of the people I might be working with and to see if I could honestly support the work they were doing and how they were doing it. Habitat was great. They let me know of a training weekend in Americus, provided me with a place to stay in town — all I had to do was come up with airfare and book a flight. I’m glad I did. I discovered that like anything else, different people have different motivations for being involved in this kind of effort. And that’s OK. I may not be able to recite the spiritual rationale for Habitat’s work, but I can support the outcome. Doing something good is more important than saying something good, and Habitat’s Global Village program is all about doing something good. Once I learned how I could support the effort, it was easy to say “yes.”

How many trips to you lead per year? How long are they?

I average 2 trips a year. Some years I’ll do one, some years I might lead four. Most trips last a little over two weeks — about 17 days when you count travel time, which, for some destinations, can take 4 straight days of travel just to get there. There are a few week-long adventures to locations that are a bit closer to home and don’t take quite as much energy getting to the site. While the trips themselves might last a few weeks, the planning and developing of each trip can take as long as 10 months. And that, for me, is part of what holds my interest — it’s a thread that I use to weave together other facets of my life: the planning, and being intentional about what we try to do helps hold things together for me.

Where have you done trips? Any favorites?

I’ve been to a number of pretty cool spots in Kenya, Mexico, Tanzania, Portugal, Alaska, South Africa, Macedonia, Kyrgyzstan…and then there were the trips to Transylvania (Romania) with you and Jen. I ended up going back to Romania 9 times, I think. As for favorites, I get asked that a lot and end up answering pretty much the same way…it’s hard for me to pick out a single favorite. Each experience has been a little different — a different mix of people, of cultures, of scenery, of work, of conditions — and that mix has made each trip distinctive and special. Those moments kind of meld together into one great uber-memory for me. I have these pictures in my head of driving a bota-bota (bicycle taxi) through a little town in western Kenya while people poured out of their houses to point and laugh; of Habitat families, laborers, and our crew dancing around a tamale truck in Mexico celebrating someone’s birthday; retracing Nelson Mandela’s 11k to Freedom on the 10th anniversary of his release; a soccer match in Portugal in a stadium carved out of an old quarry; peeking outside of a yurt in Kyrgyzstan at the most amazing stars I had ever seen. All of those things are great, but I think what gets me every time is the sincere thanks that I receive from people who truly and sincerely appreciate what little I have done to help them get on with their lives. Most people I’ve come to know as recipients of a Habitat home are terrific, hardworking, wonderful people who have simply become stuck in an unenviable situation. And this little boost helps unstick them. What’s really cool for me is returning to a site that I’ve been to previously and seeing that that little boost really did help. And what’s super-cool is that for those builds I’ve been involved with overseas, there’s a 100% success rate. 1-0-0 PERCENT! Who can say that? Most of us contribute to things/people/causes as an act of faith — we hope that our contributions make a difference. I KNOW my contributions — and the contributions our teams have made — make a difference. And I am reminded of that every time I lead a Global Village trip.

How many and what kind of people go on these trips? (e.g., age, attitude, motivation for going, where they are from, etc.)

Teams can range in size from 8-24. A lot depends on the conditions at the local affiliate where there might be some restrictions on how many people can be transported to and from the worksite, what accommodations are available, how much room is at the project site, etc. Team members can be from anywhere in the world (most are from the US) and there’s an application process that’s facilitated through Habitat’s online web site. Applicants can be specific about when and where they’d like to be considered or they can be fairly general about it. The GV program tries to match potential participants with trips based on availability and interest, then it’s a matter of working with the team leader to make sure there’s a good match with each others’ expectations.

As for motivations of participants, I think that’s all over the map. Someone shared with me a profile of Global Village participants as having certain characteristics, but I haven’t found that profile to fit my teams. I think once you start looking for or targeting certain “types” of people you lose one of the special characteristics of a team which is its diversity. Different people with different motivations having different skills equals a great build experience.

Romania Global Village Trip 2006 image

Here's some of the group that I went to Romania with in 2006 - age range spanned ~50 years from youngest to oldest and people were from all over (Our fearless leader, Dave, is the top left)

Can just anyone go (do you need specific skills, background, etc.)?

Just about anyone can join a Global Village team. No construction skills are required — a little flexibility, willingness to learn, a helpful mindset, humor, and a sense of adventure go a long way, though.

What do you think people get out of these trips?

For a lot of people I think that there’s an unexpected sense of appreciation and purpose that comes if they just let it happen. People looking for something specific often don’t find it, or are so intent on finding that one ingredient they miss out on everything else. Not having an agenda actually helps as the experience unfolds. I know, it sounds very karmic. I find, though, that many of us are in jobs and commitments and relationships and activities that don’t seem to have tangible outcomes. We even get judged on those intangibles. What a building a house brings is a tangible set of measures — instant feedback. Combine that sense of accomplishment (even when it’s frustratingly produced) with a continual bombardment of appreciation and thanks, and think of the high that can produce. It’s pure positive feedback — even when it involves digging a hole (which I’ve done on several continents).

Any other marriages resulting from your trips?

Yeah, a few. But I have to warn you, there have also been a few breakups. I had nothing to do with either. Honest.

What do you get out of leading these trips/why do you keep doing it? Any favorite memories?

Besides that high of appreciation and accomplishment, I think what really keeps me involved is how this activity has provided a common thread of purpose through the various fragments of my life. I’m able to relate the experiences of these trips to my other commitments and responsibilities, which often feels fragmented and disconnected. My involvement in Global Village brings continuity to who I am.

Stay tuned for part 2 of this interview later this week to hear more about how Dave manages to balance these trips against family, career, life, etc…

Update: Part 2 is now available here

Management book chapter 2: Perfectionists should kick themselves in the head (perfectly)

Last week we discussed the merits of building career option-value and warned about Brick Wall Syndrome (BWS) and the tyranny of the evil mongeese.  This week, we’ll tackle the advantages of being a perfectionist and make the argument that if you are a perfectionist you should try to kick yourself in the head (as perfectly as possible).

Like last week, this will not apply to everyone.  The truth is, this one barely even makes sense, is WAY too long and is almost certainly 100% inaccurate.  If you do somehow force yourself to read it all the way through though, I hope you can agree with me that, at the very least, some of the pictures are pretty entertaining…

Why

It’s not easy to kick yourself in the head at all, let alone perfectly.  It will require a significant amount of practice to get it just right.  You may be wondering why I’m suggesting this.  It’s mainly because perfectionism makes me cranky, but I’m happy to come up with some other reasons if my crankiness alone is not enough for you (that said, we will likely both end up regretting this).

The basic argument is that kicking yourself in the head provides all of the same compelling benefits as trying to be perfect (e.g., almost impossible to achieve, hurts a lot, not worthwhile, etc.) while at the same time being infinitely more entertaining for others to watch.

Kick yourself in the head image

See? Entertaining, right?

You might be thinking “This is preposterous, I don’t even know why I’m reading it”

Imagine how I feel–I’m the one writing it.  The worst part is it’s just getting started.

If you’ve read the last chapter about career option value, then you already know about Brick Wall Syndrome (BWS) and how it instills in you a drive to manage your career/life by continually seeking out the paths of greatest resistance and pushing yourself as hard as possible to break through all of the brick walls you can find in order to build option value (even though you don’t necessarily have any interest in these options).  You’ll also know that if you suffer from BWS, any career choice that looks enjoyable and/or like something that you could really excel at without any pain or suffering will automatically be classified as an utter waste of time by the evil mongeese who are in charge of your life decisions.  This much should be fairly obvious.  This chapter isn’t about BWS though, it’s about another disorder–perfectionism.

Overview of disorder

At this point, I should clarify that I’m not talking about the benign and mild form of perfectionism in which people take pride in their work and have high quality standards.  That’s a positive thing.   I’m talking about the more extreme version that keeps people up all night obsessing over things that even they admit are a waste of time.  This is the version that inevitably leads to a constant sense of failure and ensures that no matter how much effort you put into something, you always feel like you should have done more . . . and that someone else would have.

Perfectionism isn’t about building option-value by choosing difficult paths.  Unlike BWS, perfectionism isn’t concerned with what specifically you choose to do; whatever you choose, this disorder’s primary focus is in making you obsess over doing things as perfectly as humanly possible–regardless of how long it takes, what other important things are going on in your life or if anyone else cares.  This could lead you to do any number of things, e.g.:

  • Stay up all night making sure that every PowerPoint slide in a large presentation has a perfectly matching color scheme (note: it’s not about consistency–consistency is merely good enough; the perfectionist will likely have painstakingly tried several different schemes to see what looked best)
  • Spend 5 days of intense effort to do what should have only taken 1 day (it’s not that you’re slow, you simply weren’t satisfied until it was 5x better than what anyone could have done in 1 day)
  • Spend all day trying to come up with a perfect third bullet point here to tie this all together in a comical way (if you are a perfectionist and have suggestions, please leave them in the comments)

Perfectionism and BWS are not the same thing.  It’s true that they often come together in a tightly-strung, type-A, fun-to-be-around package, but they are not the same thing.  Individually they are bad; together, they are worse.  You don’t have to believe me about this; here is the proof:

Perfectionist 2 by 2 - simple image

Note: if this 2 by 2 doesn't constitute definitive proof to you, you may not have what it takes to be a management consultant

Self-Diagnosis

Diagnosing yourself to be a perfectionist is usually not difficult.  Most perfectionists are fully aware of their disorder and often secretly (or openly) proud of it.  It is even easier to diagnose it in someone other than yourself merely by observing their daily activities.

Here are some signs that may indicate you have this disorder:

  • You frequently work significantly longer hours than others that have your same job and do not understand how it is that they can manage to go home so early and not be more stressed-out all the time.
  • When you point out how proud you are of having gone above and beyond to make sure that all fonts/colors/icons/etc. are perfectly coordinated and aligned to the nearest millimeter (you measured), rather than receiving applause, people just look at you and shake their heads.  This seems strange to you.  Your conclusion from this is that you will have to try harder next time.
  • When other people actually do compliment you on your work, you think they are patronizing you–you know that you should have done more, and if they think that you were good enough, then they really have no idea what they are talking about and should be avoided.

If any of the above symptoms are present, you may be a perfectionist and should continue reading for root causes and home treatment options.

Root causes

If you are an obsessive perfectionist, whether or not you realize it, and whether or not you are proud of it, what you are really suffering from is almost certainly varying degrees of the following two root causes:

1)  You are afraid that someone else will judge you to be not good enough

2)  You suck at managing competing priorities

Or, if you are confused (which can happen if you’ve been up all night perfecting something), you may be afraid of competing judges not managing someone else’s priorities well enough.  If this is the case, see your doctor immediately.

If you are a perfectionist, you are in for a rough time.  Whereas the person suffering from BWS is off prioritizing things based on degree of difficulty and perceived rewards, the pattern behind your decision processes is distinct.  Due to root cause #1, your main concern is avoiding someone else thinking that you are not good enough.  This is extremely stressful and requires constant vigilance.  You always have to be on guard.  No matter how small the task is that you’re doing, you have no choice but to go above and beyond and make it perfect–regardless of how long it takes (you really hate deadlines).  Having to be perfect all the time is a lot of pressure.

This type of extreme perfectionism is primarily about downside protection.  You are far more concerned about the downsides of being imperfect than you are motivated by the upsides that might come from doing a good job; unlike someone suffering from BWS, it doesn’t matter to you whether or not what you are working so hard on will lead to any rewards (real or perceived), it just matters that no one finds any errors in anything you do.

There are side-effects.  This fixation on downside protection can, at times, make you fear taking risks and prevent you from attempting things that are unconventional or creative (even if you have a spectacular idea: e.g., starting a monster truck rental business).  You tend to avoid things that don’t have an established set of criteria for perfection because you know that they are far more likely to result in criticism and failure (though, I think we can all agree that a monster truck rental business would clearly succeed).  You may have less fun and work harder than others, but at least you won’t risk being a disappointment.

Who is this person that you are so concerned about letting down?  To you, this is an irrelevant question–it does not matter who they are, whether or not you have any respect for what they think or if they even exist.  Because it doesn’t matter who they are, we’ll call them Mildred.

Perfectionist Mildred single image

If you’re a perfectionist, your priorities are determined by Mildred.  One might say that you are Mildred-centric.  You are so concerned about letting down Mildred that you will consistently assign exclusive priority to whatever things you think are important to her (even if you are just guessing).  In fact, you will often obsess over them so much that you will lose sight of other things that a more rational version of you may suggest are more important (e.g., happiness, loved ones, eating tacos)–this is root cause #2:  sucking at managing competing priorities.

Mildred is not the (only) bitch in this scenario

You may be surprised to hear this, but it’s almost certain that Mildred…:

a)  Couldn’t care less and doesn’t even know your name (or is some minor character from your past who doesn’t remember you – e.g., your 6th grade English teacher)

or

b)  Is in fact a bitch, and realizes how easy it is to manipulate you into doing whatever she wants through pointing out your weaknesses

or

c)  Thinks that you actually are good enough  – uh oh!  Time to find a new Mildred

How you choose your Mildred

Despite your debilitating ailment, you likely still have some people in your life that care about you.  These people probably not only think that you are good enough; they may even think that you are great.  This automatically disqualifies them from being your Mildred.  You have to look for a Mildred that exhibits either A or B from above in order to be sure that you will generate enough anxiety to perpetuate your disorder.

A fun side effect of this is that the people in your life that care about you (and who are likely also the same people that you yourself care the most about) are unable to help you.  Due to the very fact that they think that you don’t suck, you will constantly discard any positive things that they ever say to you and instead make it clear to them that Mildred’s opinion is more important to you.  This is awesome for them.  Fear not, in time these people will go away and you will be completely undistracted and able to focus all of your attention on pleasing Mildred.

Remember, the goal of this disorder is for Mildred to be your taskmaster, and that wouldn’t work very well if you picked a Mildred that was supportive of you.  This is why this form of extreme perfectionism is scientifically referred to as BMBD, or Being Mildred’s Bitch Disorder.

It gets worse

If you have BMBD and you have BWS (which often happens due to a failure to vaccinate for these things in infancy), you are really in trouble.

Perfectionist plus option value equals screwed image

With BMBD alone, your obsessions are more random and tend to fluctuate.  Mildred on her own may make you strive to throw the perfect birthday party for your 3-year-old one day, followed by obsessing over the formatting in your monthly report (and not even getting home from the office until after your 3-year-old has gone to bed) the next.  It doesn’t really matter what you are doing; her main concern is that you are always perfecting.  You may end up sacrificing other things that are important to you while in your Mildred-induced perfectionistic frenzies, but at least there’s a chance that you’ll have devoted some of your energies to things that actually do matter to you.

As proven earlier, it’s much worse if you also have BWS.  If you have both, your Mildred instead will be collaborating with the other mongeese to ensure that all of your energies go into attempting to be perfect at things that are extremely difficult and that you are simply not good at.  They will pick virtually impossible tasks specifically targeted to your weaknesses (because that’s where the biggest challenges and brick walls are–as mentioned, BWS sucks) and she will make you feel bad about yourself for failing to do them perfectly on your first try.

Mongeese with Mildred image

Focusing all of your energies on trying to be perfect at virtually impossible things which you are in fact not good at is no fun.  It’s certainly not as fun as competing in a taco eating contest (the great thing about a taco eating contest is that everyone wins).

taco image

You know you want it

Home treatment options for BMBD

Unfortunately BMBD is not curable–as you may have suspected, you will always be Mildred’s bitch.  However, there are some things that you can do to alleviate the majority of your symptoms.  Similar to BWS, embracing failure is extremely helpful in fighting BMBD–if you let Mildred down enough times, she’ll stop caring so much.

If you aren’t ready to embrace failure, try the following:

Step 1: Admit you have a problem

Like so many things, the most important first step is admitting that you have a problem.  BMBD is not just a harmless personality quirk; at its extremities, it holds you back, pushes people away and prevents you from having the life that you want.  Upon accepting that this is a real problem, you might be tempted to lash out at Mildred…  Don’t – it’s not her fault.

Step 2: Admit that you are the problem

The second step is realizing that Mildred isn’t the problem; you are.  It’s true – you can ask anyone that knows you well and they will tell you.

Now that you are horribly depressed, it is time to move on to step #3.  If you are not yet horribly depressed, you didn’t do steps 1 and 2 well enough–please repeat until you have perfected them.

Step 3:  Perform some Mildred Judo

This step requires some introspection.  If you have BMBD, it means that you suck at managing competing priorities and will let everything else slide in order to cater to the ever-changing whims of your Mildred.  If you can improve on balancing priorities using a little Mildred Judo, you won’t have to worry about what your Mildred thinks.  On the contrary, it is your Mildred that will have cause to worry.

The trick is to make your disorder work for you rather than against you.  What you need to do is to pick a new Mildred that has a more macro view of your life… Maybe pick your future self as your new Mildred.  Pick a high-level Mildred that is judging you based on how well you live your life across ALL dimensions rather than a small-minded Mildred that gets caught up on minor details and loses sight of everything else.  This new Uber-Mildred will have no trouble beating up your current Mini-Mildred and setting a very different tone for what remains of your lifetime of servitude.

Uber-Mildred perfectionist image

Note:  If the number of Mildreds mentioned in the preceding paragraph is confusing, just try to remember:  Uber-Mildred = good, Mini-Mildred=bad, millions of milling Mildreds mysteriously melting = hard to say.  Better?

Pleasing your new Uber-Mildred will require a whole new and much healthier mindset.  For instance, Uber-Mildred will be very unhappy with you if you work late and blow off spending time with your spouse.  That said, Uber-Mildred will also be unhappy if you do sloppy work and get fired.  What’s important to understand is that Uber-Mildred doesn’t require perfection in any one thing in particular, but rather requires that you devote your obsessiveness to trying to be perfect at balancing all of your competing priorities in a way that optimizes your happiness.

With her in charge, it’s not about having the perfectly formated report, it’s about having the best overall life (within which the formatting of your report is merely one of many other dimensions and should be prioritized accordingly).  Indeed, pleasing Uber-Mildred is all about getting comfortable with the idea of making sure that you are ‘good-enough’ across all dimensions before you are allowed to expend energy to go for better/great/fantastic/boy-howdy in any one category.  This isn’t easy.  Uber-Mildred is a harsh mistress and pleasing her will require making trade-offs (especially in any areas that mini-Mildred was particularly obsessed), but pleasing her will ultimately please you.  Isn’t that pleasant?

Step 4: Try to kick yourself in the back of the head

I suppose this step is optional, but, as mentioned previously, very entertaining for your friends and family and, depending on how extreme your BMBD symptoms have been, the least you could do is provide a little entertainment to thank them for putting up with you.  In fact, if you make it to step 4, please upload a YouTube video and link to it in the comments section below.

YouTube Video image

I'm not kidding

Note: If you are also suffering from BWS, the above steps will still help you somewhat, but in addition, you will need to seek out  and embrace failure (as discussed last week).  A good way to make failure a part of your daily life is to travel.  Immersion in a foreign culture will almost certainly make you feel like a failure several times a day.  Not only will you stop looking for brick walls, you will likely have moments where you are eager to eat Top Ramen for dinner because it means that you don’t have to deal with looking like an idiot with your poor language skills in a restaurant and potentially ordering something that has calf brains in it because you didn’t recognize just one little word in the list of 10 ingredients and assumed it must be something benign like parsley.  Not that I have any experience with this.

Disclaimer:  The author makes no claim whatsoever to have figured anything important out or to have anything worthwhile to say about this or any other topic.  He writes things like this merely for entertainment purposes–mostly his own. You should definitely not construe this as advice or take action based on it–you could end up unemployed in Chile.


Quitter to Winner interview part 2: This time hear from Jen

Our friends over at Quitter to Winner just put up a part 2 interview about us featuring Jen.  You should definitely check it out to read Jen’s thoughts on our future (I know I found it intriguing…):  Quitter to Winner interview with Jen

If you missed the original interview, you should check that out too:  Original Quitter to Winner interview with Ryan

If you don’t know what Quitter to Winner is, it’s an interview based site offering  “A resource for those quitting their job for a career break, sabbatical, entrepreneurial venture or new gig.”  There are lots of interviews on it of very interesting people doing some unconventionally cool things with their lives.  Try it, it’s neat.

Beaches and mountains and wineries, oh my!: More reasons why Santiago rocks

While Santiago is a great city in and of itself, possibly its most compelling feature is its proximity to an amazing variety of incredible day-trips, ranging from beaches to wineries to mountains and more.  This is a tale of some of those day-trips.

Context

I thoroughly enjoyed writing about career related topics (e.g., Career Option-value) and will absolutely be writing a lot more involving evil mongeese in the near future, but I didn’t want to go too long without offering a little travel-related inspiration…

We’ve been in Santiago, Chile for a couple of weeks now and we continue to like it more and more (see our original post on Santiago).  So much so in fact that we are now seriously considering getting jobs and living here for the foreseeable future.  Anyone have any good leads?  🙂

We may sound crazy.  You may be wondering why we would consider living so far away from home.  There are many reasons.  In this post, I’ll discuss 3 of them: beaches, mountains and wineries.  Oh my.

Santiago day trip 1: Beaches

About a week ago we made plans with some friends to go skiing in some of the gigantic mountains hovering just outside/over the city.  We headed over to their house at around 9am to meet up.  When we got there, they told us that they had heard the weather was rough and it might be snowing too hard in the mountains for skiing to be much fun.  We are fair weather skiers, so skipping the slopes for the day was fine with us.  After some discussion about possible alternate destinations, we decided to drive to the coast for the day.  It was drizzling for most of the ~1 hour drive, so initially we weren’t all that optimistic about the beach.  We were in for a surprise.

We started at Isla Negra, which is a small beach town a bit south of Valparaiso and the site of one of Pablo Neruda’s houses (he’s kind of a big deal here).  The tour of the house was very worthwhile (this guy collected all kinds of crazy stuff, including a narwhal tusk!).  Beyond the house, the beach was fantastic which was helped by the fact that the rain stopped..

Isla Negra beach image

This was Pablo Neruda's backyard. I wish it were my backyard.

After our tour, we decided to drive a bit further up the coast to Viña del Mar.  Viña is a popular beach destination for a good reason.

Viña del Mar coastline image

It's always a beautiful day in Viña del Mar

The weather was significantly better at Viña.  We had an awesome lunch on an outdoor patio (keep in mind that it’s the dead of winter here) and then took to the beach…

Viña del Mar beach image

Everyone out enjoying this beautiful winter day

Also, there were some very cool sand sculptures.

Viña del Mar beach sand sculpture image

Such as this crazy dragon thing

We got some ice cream, hung out on the beach for a few hours and eventually headed back to the city.

Let’s recap:

  1. We woke up in the morning ready to go skiing.
  2. We determined that it was snowing too hard to go skiing
  3. Rather than driving an hour east for skiing, we drove an hour west to the coast
  4. We spent the day enjoying a sunny, warm and beautiful day at the beach and eating ice cream (because it was snowing too hard to ski).

Does this seem strange to anyone?  Is this sequence of events possible anywhere else in the world?  If so, let us know!  If not, join us in basking in the awesomeness that is Chile.

Santiago day trip 2: Mountains

This weekend it wasn’t snowing too hard.  With our friends at the wheel, we managed to make the ~1 hour drive east (though ‘up’ is the more accurate direction) and hit the slopes at Valle Nevado.  It was our first time skiing in the Andes and it was unlike any skiing we had ever done before (in a good way).

Valle Nevado ski lodge image

This is the lodge down at the base (yep, that's the bottom...)

Aside from the incredible views and massive amounts of snow in every direction, there is something quite unique about skiing in the Andes…

Valle Nevado slopes images

Hmmm... what's missing from this picture?

Trees.  There are no trees.  I’ve never skied without trees before.  They pretend that there are separate runs, but really it’s more of a free-for-all where you can pretty much go anywhere–there is nothing but snow and mountains for miles and miles and miles.  At the lodge, you can conveniently pay for a helicopter to drop you off further out if you’re crazy (we saw it go back and forth more than a few times), or some people apparently take a lift up and just head off in a different direction and have a friend pick them up near the side of the road somewhere down the mountain (or just hitchhike from there).

I’ve skied all over the US, but I’ve never seen this much fresh powder–certainly none that is this light and fluffy.  Also, it doesn’t get that cold (rarely below freezing) and apparently the day we were there was the most crowded our friends have ever seen it–sometimes we waited in lift lines for up to 2 minutes.

Valle Nevado lift image

This is the 'most' crowded it's ever been...

And another thing…

Echaurren glacier at the top of Valle Nevada image

At the top of one of the lifts you get an incredible view of the Echaurren glacier (top left) which is hanging out at around 17k feet

If glaciers aren’t your thing, there are also some spectacular views of the city way down below.

Santiago view from Valle Nevada image

That's Santiago city down there in that valley. If you look closely you can see the buildings... completely surrounded by mountains

Not only that, but the drive home offered some pretty spectacular sunset views.

Sunset on road to Santiago from the Andes image

Sunsets in Chile do not mess around

Let’s recap:

  1. 1 – 1.5 hour drive from city
  2. Amazing powder skiing, wide-open runs, not crowded, warm
  3. Incredible glacier views
  4. Incredible city views
  5. Incredible sunset
  6. If we were feeling lazy, we could have gone to the beach instead

Convinced yet?  If you still don’t agree with us that Chile is awesome, that’s fine.  There’s plenty more…

Santiago day trip 3: Wineries

On another day, with some other friends (people are friendly here), we headed north to the small town of Los Andes.  It’s about an hour, maybe 1.5 hours north, nestled in between the Andes and the Coastal Range (more mountains) and more or less surrounded by the vineyards of the Aconcagua Valley (you have to be specific because there are like 7 wine valleys within an hour or so of the city).

Los Andes, Chile vineyard image

The views were ok

Frankly, there wasn’t really any need to have a particular destination in mind, you can basically just start driving and stare in awe out the window at the amazing scenery beyond every turn.

We had been pretty fixated by the Andes, but we learned about a whole new mountain range on this trip.

Coastal range from Los Andes image

Those are part of the Coastal Range. Also awesome.

We stopped at one point and did a little hiking through vineyards to get to the top of a hill (which happened to be the site of some very interesting petroglyphs).

Los Andes winery and mountains image

This is what we saw

After we managed to tear ourselves away from these incredible views (and of course buy as many bottles of wine as we could carry after some wine tasting) we headed to our friends’ favorite lunch destination in the area…

Los Andes lunch spot image

Decent place to have lunch -- try the drunken chicken

As if the above wasn’t enough, we also were treated to a brief performance by these guys:

Huasos image

Huasos - Like guachos, but Chilean

Once again, let’s recap:

  1. 1 hour drive
  2. Spectacular scenery along the way
  3. Not one, but 2 mountain ranges (Coastal Range and Andes)
  4. Cool wineries that make great wine in unbelievable settings
  5. Drunken chicken for lunch
  6. Chilean cowboys

What more could you want?

In Summary

We used to live in San Francisco.  San Francisco is known for having lots of incredible day trips you can do near the city.  While we are big fans of San Francisco, the day trip possibilities around Santiago make San Francisco day trips look a little silly (in diversity, intensity and proximity).  We’ve only just begun exploring this city/country and so far we are blown away.

Where else can you do all of this and more so close to a major city?  Why doesn’t everyone live here??  🙂

Check out more photos in our gallery:

Beach day photos

Ski day photos

Winery day photos